Embracing Authenticity with Jordan Tarver

Judd Shaw: [00:00:00] Welcome Jordan Tarver to Behind the Armor, where we deep dive into the heart of what matters. I’m your host, Judd Shaw, adventurer, storyteller, agent of change, and speaker on authenticity and human connection. Join me as we explore the complexities of human connection, featuring theorists, scientists, and speakers. Our mission is simple, to inspire you to reclaim your true self and create genuine connections with others.

Judd Shaw: Join me as we lay down our armor and live the armor. Hello, you beautiful people, and thanks for tuning in. Today, I’m speaking with Jordan Tarver, a global, best selling author of You Deserve This Shit, International Keynote Speaker, and Intentional Changemaker. A close call with death and a soul searching solo backpacking trip taught Jordan how to live.

Judd Shaw: Since then, he’s dedicated himself to living a life infused with meaning, And empowering others to do the same. Jordan’s experiences both in life [00:01:00] and business have led him to become one of the leading thinkers in the world of change. Let’s see what’s behind the armor with Jordan. Jordan Tarver, you give daily inspiration to countless of people, including me.

Judd Shaw: I am so grateful that you’re on the show today. Thank you so much.

Judd Shaw: Man, I couldn’t, I couldn’t think of a better way to start my week. Monday, come on, this is, this is it, this is it, I’m excited to be here, thanks for having me.

Judd Shaw: Let’s do it, it’s such a pleasure. You know, Jordan, before we get to the fact that you are a global best selling author, uh, with You Deserve This Shit, uh, you are an international keynote speaker.

Judd Shaw: You are a lead editor at Forbes and you, in my opinion, and the opinion of many others that I know are really an intentional change maker, [00:02:00] but you weren’t necessarily born that way. And so I’d like to get behind the armor a little bit before we catch up on all the amazing JT things you’re doing.

Jordan Tarver: Let’s do it.

Judd Shaw: Yeah. So, you know, what I, I had noticed was I let’s talk about like a zero point version, Jordan to a 1. 0 version. And I think it’s really important for the audience to sort of take this journey with you in helping them understand. about the fact of, of stuckness because your book, it, it teaches how to get unstuck, right?

Judd Shaw: How to find the passion, how to be that best version of yourself. And I think that understanding how Jordan Tarver got there helps other people understand how they can. You are, um, the youngest of four growing up in Northern California, and it had to be beautiful. Where, what [00:03:00] part?

Jordan Tarver: Sonoma County, just an hour north of San Francisco out in the wine country.

Jordan Tarver: Yeah. My parents are still there, so I get to, uh, go there at least a couple times a year, which is always, you know, so nice to go back.

Judd Shaw: That’s amazing. You know, for our version two podcast, we’ll get deep dive on something else and we’ll do it at mom and dad’s.

Jordan Tarver: Yeah, let’s do it.

Judd Shaw: Yeah. Um, and, and, you know, you’re, I think you were at a Montessori school.

Judd Shaw: And I think it’s fair to describe you as a very happy, uh, go loving, stable, um, emotionally regulated, just overall happy kid. Would that be fair?

Jordan Tarver: Yeah, I think you’re pretty accurate,

Judd Shaw: but something happened. Right. It’s sort of like when they say the floor gets ripped up from underneath you or just you have this monumental like drop in your life.

Judd Shaw: And that was [00:04:00] when you were moved out of that school system, you fell into a spiral. And I was wondering, can you tell me what was going on now in this, what we can call a 1. 0 version?

Jordan Tarver: Yeah. So I. When I went to that Montessori school, it was really tiny schools, only 40 kids between first and sixth grade. So that’s a really small container, really safe container to be in.

Jordan Tarver: Um, and that school really valued individuality, really showing up as your true authentic self. And there was a lot of safety in that. And when I transferred to a public school system. It was much larger, you know, we went from 40 kids to 600. And to me, that was a massive culture shock. There was new social constructs.

Jordan Tarver: I had to understand how to exist in new ways of interacting with people and a lot more, uh, peer pressure and, and showing up as a certain person to try to fit in into these new situations. And I kind of started to lose myself in that, you know, I lost myself in that transition because [00:05:00] I didn’t know how to.

Jordan Tarver: Um, interact with this new environment because I was so used to where I was coming from before, and it really highlighted a lot of areas in my life where I still had a lot of uncertainty. I still had a, had a lot of, um, unconfidence and I had a lot of, honestly, I was just really self conscious and it, that transition really highlighted that.

Jordan Tarver: And it kind of set me on this journey of navigating through those, those through the things that were holding me back to try to make it back to who I originally was before that experience.

Judd Shaw: You had this incredible sense of connection because you were showing up as your most authentic, real, raw version in Montessori.

Judd Shaw: And that then allows you to be you and feel free in all of what that means. And now you go to this big school and fitting in is sort of a new, [00:06:00] uh, a new concept because you only have to fit in when you’re not being your authentic self. And so it seems to me that the disconnection. The thing that broke that psychological safety in your life was that sense of belonging.

Jordan Tarver: Mm hmm. Yeah, I think, uh, for so long in that Montessori school, because we were just showing up as authentic selves, whether it was coming to school in my cargo pants that I would zip down halfway for skating in the afternoon or we had our backpacks with pokeballs linked to. You know, five pokeballs deep.

Jordan Tarver: Like we could just show up as who we really were. And when I went to the new public school, it didn’t feel the same because there was a lot more judgment. I think there’s a lot more judgment in that setting because there’s so many more kids and there’s so many more dynamics and people and friend groups and clicks.

Jordan Tarver: And I did exactly what you said. I felt like I stopped being who I was because I tried to fit into the construct of that school rather [00:07:00] than just being myself and finding my place through that sense of belonging of just being who I was, and that was really challenging, especially going into a school where I didn’t know too many people.

Jordan Tarver: I think I had a lack of, um, Comfortability just in that setting, because I had gone to elementary school with these people for, for, since I was three, you know, a long time. And I was moving into the school where. Some of these kids have already been going to school with each other for, until that, since they were in kindergarten, you know, and now they’ve been in school through elementary school.

Jordan Tarver: And now they were even in middle school for a year before I got there. And so there was a lot of, a lot of layers to that transition and a lot of things that made me disconnect with, from who I really was. And I think that was probably the biggest challenge. And, um, it wasn’t, I wouldn’t say it was even like the school or a person that made that happen.

Jordan Tarver: It was just me on my own journey. of understanding what authenticity really was.

Judd Shaw: Yeah, that’s so resonates with me when I [00:08:00] moved, uh, when I was about 14 from New Orleans, Louisiana to live with my father and my brothers in New Jersey. Um, I was incredibly disconnected as well because what happened was I’m now showing up differently with different groups and subsex.

Judd Shaw: I’m showing up differently with these friends in high school that I’m trying to fit in and be liked with. I’m trying to fit into this new blended family so that I can have psychological safety and, you know, know that I’m going to get food and shelter. And then also, you know, with my. My other friends and in all of those relationships, I found that the more I couldn’t consistently show up as me, real and raw, the more those masks [00:09:00] eventually Jordan, I didn’t know who was even behind it anymore

Jordan Tarver: for you,

Judd Shaw: you, by the way, um, you had your 11th anniversary recently on what led to.

Judd Shaw: To Jordan 3. 0, uh, March this month in 2013, you were an incredibly traumatic motor vehicle accident as a injury lawyer, seeing many of many types of accidents. Yours was a big hit, my friend, and thank God you’re here. You’re going a certain speed. Your car flipped several times over and, uh, crossing highway lanes.

Judd Shaw: And somehow Jordan Tarver still walks away from that, but you didn’t [00:10:00] walk away even more affected now. What was going on?

Jordan Tarver: Yeah, it’s interesting. So we were driving down the freeway with, um, a car full of friends. And like you said, we’re going fast. We’re going to eat five miles per hour and being the goody goody kid that I was a kid that never got in trouble, followed the rules.

Jordan Tarver: Like I just wanted to slow down because I knew we were going too fast. And I remember from the backseat. I was kind of fooling, fooling around my friends in the back and, you know, just making jokes here and there, but something kind of nudged me to want to ask my friend or maybe tell him to slow down.

Jordan Tarver: And so from the backseat, I leaned forward to be like, yo dude, slow down a bit. But then I didn’t say anything. And I just sit back in my seat. And at the very moment that I sit back and not say anything, our friends driving past us, hit our car. And that’s when we started to fishtail, we slammed into the asphalt.

Jordan Tarver: We slide across five lanes of [00:11:00] freeway. And it was one of those moments that was happening. So fast, but the same time, it was in slow motion to the point where I was having full on dialogue with myself of what was going on. And when I think about that experience now, I wonder, maybe I wasn’t supposed to say anything.

Jordan Tarver: Maybe I was supposed to be quiet. And when people ask me about this car accident, and I tell them that it was the greatest gift of my life. They look at me kind of confused the greatest gift car accident, like doesn’t match up. It’s like, well, without the car accident, I wouldn’t be version 3. 0. I wouldn’t have this understanding of my life.

Jordan Tarver: I wouldn’t have this experience to reflect on to draw lessons from and it is the greatest gift of my life. I do have deep gratitude for that experience. And thankfully we work. Safe and we did walk away from that. And I think that’s how it was meant to happen. You know, it was meant to teach me the lessons that has taught me because I needed something to wake me up from the life that I was living on autopilot.

Jordan Tarver: So I can stop living on autopilot and [00:12:00] start. Really making intentional choices and intentional changes like you were relating to earlier. So I could design a life that I was proud of. And I designed a life that I wouldn’t regret when my time comes, because I know I put everything on the table. I know I did everything to be the best version and fullest version of myself for the people around me, for myself and for the world.

Jordan Tarver: And without that car accident, I can’t say that I would be the person I am today.

Judd Shaw: I deeply believe in that too, that the universe, it has our back, but sometimes we fight it. And I think that when we’re inauthentic, when we’re not fully connected with who we are supposed to be and we’re not showing our genuine selves, eventually the cosmic bricks will come down on you.

Judd Shaw: Sometimes some of us need them louder, bigger, heavier, and maybe sometimes in even [00:13:00] in a two ton car that has to flip over. To actually straighten your life out.

Jordan Tarver: Yeah.

Judd Shaw: Right? And so now, you, you have this moment, and your cosmic brick knocks at you and says, Jordan, Tarver, this is not you. And you then decide about three years after that accident.

Judd Shaw: That you’re going to go on this solo backpacking journey. Tell me about those three years and what led up to this, what really ultimately transformed you to today?

Jordan Tarver: Well, I think in all honesty, at the time I got my accident, I was, uh, must’ve been 18. And so I was a young college kid, I was in a fraternity, I was having fun.

Jordan Tarver: The first thing wasn’t to reflect on it in [00:14:00] the way that I reflect on it today. You know, and I will say it didn’t change my life immediately. I think it was the spark in the, in the ignition of the change and the transformation, but it was going to come. A little bit later down the line, when I was mature enough to, uh, look at it straight on and ask some deep, hard questions and do some deep work.

Jordan Tarver: And so, although it didn’t change my life immediately, it did start to open my eyes to life. And that was really the seed of the change for me was this perspective shift. And I think. When I really reflect on that, I would say maybe it took about a year or so to really sink in more to what, what, what it meant for the grand scheme of life.

Jordan Tarver: Like, the lesson of fragility was very loud and how quickly things should be taken away. And also there was a big nudge to do some deep work and and go on a transformational [00:15:00] journey to come out the other side of this experience in a positive light. Cause I think when I look at anything in life, there’s.

Jordan Tarver: Two sides to the coin, you know, every experience you can, it can be a positive impact or it could be a negative impact. And the difference in those two worlds are simply through the choice you make. And so for me, I could have had this car accident spiral my life out of control. It could have made me lived a life defined by fear, or I could have made it a positive life changing moment that motivated me to become someone.

Jordan Tarver: More someone more full. And fortunately, I chose that that positive path. And so leading up to the end of college, I just, I was craving something more for myself and I’m the youngest of four, like you said, and my three other siblings did some sort of travel after college. So it was always kind of in the, in the hand, um, of, of, of cards to play from.

Jordan Tarver: And I had a business finance degree when I graduated, you know, I originally I thought I was going to be a financial analyst with a sexy paycheck and all those fun things. And then I realized that just wasn’t [00:16:00] my next step. I didn’t feel like that was my next best step. And I’ll, I’ll give a shout out to my parents because, um, they had always been, and I’ll speak from my own experience.

Jordan Tarver: I don’t want to speak for my siblings, but from my experience, they always gave me the permission to choose what felt right for me. And they never forced me into a path that, um, they thought would be best or forced me into a job or a certain school. And so when I told them that I wanted to go traveling, they were open to the idea.

Jordan Tarver: It wasn’t, hey, you got to go use your degree, you got to go make money and all these things. They said, yeah, you can do that, but it needs to be self funded. And so, I bought a ticket to Europe and originally bought it with another friend. Cause I was like, I can’t do this alone. Like, I’m not, I’m not confident in my outgoing like that.

Jordan Tarver: This is, I gotta go with someone. And then my friend got a job in New York and he had to train during the summer. So you couldn’t go anymore. And it was one, another one of those universal moments of like, I don’t think I was ever meant to go with someone else because I wouldn’t have received the same [00:17:00] transformation than I would have, or I did.

Jordan Tarver: By going alone. And so, yeah, I went on this trip, um, after I graduated two weeks after I graduated college, I, uh, moved out of my house. I quit my job and, um, I left for what was supposed to be five weeks. And while I was on this trip, I really fell in love with the people I was meeting, the places I was going to, the cultures and the experience.

Jordan Tarver: And I was single at the time and I had no job or no place to live when I came home. So I was at the end of the five weeks, I was like, well, am I going to leave? Um, so I decided to, uh, skip my flight home and extend the trip. And I think that extension of the trip really helped me go deeper and even get more transformation.

Judd Shaw: You know, I heard that, um, when our stomach rumbles, it’s our body telling us we’re hungry or, you know, headache and got to sleep a little rest in that, that yearning, that feeling that you described before we’re leaving on this trip, but knowing you needed to take it [00:18:00] was like. In my opinion, the emotion, the feeling of disconnection.

Jordan Tarver: Yeah, for sure. I think, uh, it wasn’t that I wanted to change my life. I wanted to reconnect with myself and I think a changed life. Is a result of that reconnection. Yeah. But I think when I really reflect on it through that perspective, I don’t believe we’re all trying to become someone different. We’re trying to become someone more authentic and connected to who we are.

Jordan Tarver: And I think that’s what a lot of people get wrong about change and changing your life. Is that you’re not trying to change yourself. You’re trying to evolve yourself. You’re trying to reconnect with yourself. And it’s not this competition of who can change the most. It’s a game of who can be the most authentic.

Judd Shaw: I love that. [00:19:00] I love that so much. Because, you know, even when, in your own story, when I think about it, right? The zero, the, At Montessori, the one that, you know, when gets pulled for a different school, the 2. 0 in the accent, the 3. 0 in the journey, and the 4. 000 now growth that you continue to make, right?

Judd Shaw: Version 7800. What you really at the heart of is trying to connect with that zero version, the version that you felt completely authentic, the version that you had a sense of belonging, the version that you felt seen, heard, and felt valued. And, and for me, I think that’s what I try to do is it’s like, The more, more I can connect in a healthy way with my inner child, re parent myself and allow myself to show up as my real [00:20:00] me, real and raw.

Judd Shaw: That’s, that’s the change. It’s changing my life. Back to who I was before I was worried about judgment or opinion, or my parents told me how I had to think or society made created these norms that I had to go into. You know, I, I think that’s the change.

Jordan Tarver: Yeah, I don’t, I, I mean, first off, I would absolutely agree with that.

Jordan Tarver: Um, and I know for those listening, Judd and I had an opportunity to connect about a month or a couple of weeks ago, and we briefly touched on this, but I think. What I believe to be the most powerful thing in life, or I would say this, I think kind of reflecting back on what I was just talking about with change and what it was really meant to be.

Jordan Tarver: What I’ve experienced in my life is I’m not changing to become someone new or someone different. My goal is to get back to the start. And that’s what you’re saying. You know, it’s, how can we reconnect with that most [00:21:00] pure version of ourselves? And I think that’s the journey that we’re on. This, the spiritual journey is It’s not to grow out of that person.

Jordan Tarver: It’s to grow back into them because there’s so many things that happen in our life, limitations, judgment, um, responsibilities that really start to put on these layers or like you’re saying that the masks that really hide ourselves from ourselves, if that is even makes sense, but it’s true. Like, I think we start to lose sight of who we truly are because of the noise of the outside world.

Jordan Tarver: And so I think part of the journey is to peel back that. Those layers quiet the noise and reconnect that inner child who is the most pure form of ourselves.

Judd Shaw: I love that quiet, the noise, because it is in all of us, these little T’s and big T’s that over time are pulling us away from our true self. And I don’t think there’s [00:22:00] anyone in the world anymore that doesn’t have some version of a PTSD now.

Judd Shaw: Uh, but you know, it’s how do we, how do we get in touch with that? So when you came back from this journey afterwards, ultimately. You wrote this book. I’ve had the pleasure of reading it. Uh, Tiffany, who’s a producer on the show, uh, texted me a, uh, I don’t have my phone right here, a picture of the book. Yeah.

Jordan Tarver: Yeah.

Judd Shaw: Yeah. And, uh, and I was just, I wanted to hear from you, you know, how did this, like the idea and the spark to lead you to write, which is a global bestseller. You deserve this shit.

Jordan Tarver: Well, so when I went on my trip to europe I being the intentional intentional person I am I wanted to bring a journal to really document, uh the journey And I didn’t want to just bring a regular like [00:23:00] moleskin or something.

Jordan Tarver: I got from amazon I want it to be something meaningful And so I got a handmade leather journal off of etsy And I made a patch for the front of that journal and I called it to whom it may concern And the reason why I titled it to whom it may concern Is because when I wrote that journal or when I was going to be writing that journal Let’s say it fell out of my backpack.

Jordan Tarver: I left it at a hostel, left it at a pub and someone picked it up. My intention was that if they read that journal, they would have felt like it was written to them. And so that was my first connection with writing. And so I documented this whole trip and really fell in love with writing as a way to learn more about myself and also share those learnings with other people to help them on their journey too.

Jordan Tarver: And when I got back from that trip, I was jobless for two months. I was sleeping on a buddy’s couch. Okay. And I had a lot of time on my hands. You know, I would live in an orange County at the time I would surf in the morning and then my friends are all at work. So I’d be. Hanging around for six hours by myself.

Jordan Tarver: And I just, it felt wrong to just watch [00:24:00] TV, sit on my phone and kind of let time pass by. And so I thought to myself, well, what’s the most intentional thing I can do with my time? And I was like, well, I have this journal full of all these travel stories. Like, what if I turned this into a book? And so I started to copy this over to the Google doc and turn this journal into a reflection on my.

Jordan Tarver: Travels. And at the time, this was just a passion project, something for really, for me, for my family, for my future kids, for my friends and like nothing more. And so I put that book out. Uh, once I was back from my trip, I think I put that out in 2017 and I never really did much with the book. You can’t even get online anymore.

Jordan Tarver: So, um, it’s, it’s, uh, was meant for that inner community, but through that process, I really fell in love with writing even more deeply than I did on the trip. And I was like, you know, I really want to do like a professional, like write a professional self help book that’s really makes a statement of what my current kind of perspective on life is.

Jordan Tarver: And I just went on this trip to Europe where I was on a deep self [00:25:00] discovery journey. And so I was like, well, what if I wrote a book that was a toolkit for everything that I used on my journey to find my path to get on suck and to become the best version of myself. And that was the seed of you deserve the shit.

Jordan Tarver: Now, when I wrote that book, did I think it was going to sell 30, 000 copies? Absolutely not. I was a young kid. I was 24. I didn’t know what the hell was going on. I was just shooting from the heart and shooting from the hip and really just wanted to write a book. Teaching from personal experience. And that’s kind of where the idea came from.

Jordan Tarver: Um, and it’s definitely evolved into much more than I ever had even imagined. Uh, but I’m really proud of, of what it’s done in the world. I’m proud of how many lives lives it’s transformed. And I’m really grateful for the people who have picked it up. Um, and, and the way that they’re using it in their lives.

Judd Shaw: Well, I am grateful that you put that art out into the world for people like myself, Tiffany, and so many others. To enjoy, you know, um, [00:26:00] I also found that as the reader, there was a tone in which you were writing almost to your zero version, your inner child, as well as your future. And um, and so I’ve been writing a book coming out with a book called the connection cure and it’s based on my framework cure, which is conscious awareness.

Judd Shaw: Understanding, renew and expand. And basically the conscious awareness is being able to be aware that you are showing up in the world, wearing a mask that you’re not fully authentic, even with some people that you know very well. And the U goes to understanding. Um, why that may be, you know, you may have [00:27:00] lost someone when you were younger, you may have been a result of childhood trauma, um, society told you to be that way, your caregivers, you know, there’s a list of these things that are the roots of why we wear our masks that we wear.

Judd Shaw: And then once we understand that, we can then connect with ourselves authentically and then begin to show up as that true self with others. And then lastly, E is expanding now that you are showing up as real raw, your most genuine best version of yourself. How do you deepen those connections? With others and how do you make more connections and I was wondering, you know, is there a framework that you apply to your keynote speaking in really teaching intentional [00:28:00] change making

Jordan Tarver: first off.

Jordan Tarver: I would like to say that is a beautiful framework and I, it’s gonna do, it’s already doing amazing things in the world, but I think it’s just, it’s, uh, such a, a deep and unique perspective that I, I think will help so many people. So I just wanna honor you for, for putting that out and, and, and, and putting that into the world.

Jordan Tarver: Um, and in terms of my speaking when it comes to change, uh, I think I look at change a little bit different than most people and. I think so many of us are, we live a life on autopilot. I think there was a study done from a company out of the UK where they found that 96 percent of people live life on autopilot.

Jordan Tarver: You know, we all know that feeling. You’re just going through the motions. Everything kind of feels the same. Maybe you even feel like you’re living a scripted movie and, or maybe it just feels like you’re not living, you’re just existing and that autopilot sends us into this resistant and reactive way of living and it doesn’t put us in our power and it.[00:29:00]

Jordan Tarver: Puts in a place that we’re not being proactive. And so my goal with my speaking is to, is to get people off the autopilot, break that as the default and put, get them into a place where they’re making intentional choices to overcome the things that are holding them back. And so when I look at change, I look at it as we need to choose it ourselves.

Jordan Tarver: We need to be the ones that say, I am going to choose this change. Now there’s two different ways you can look at that. You can make the choice to create a change yourself. Something new you want to change about yourself, or you can choose to accept the unexpected things that are happening to you because there’s always two types of change.

Jordan Tarver: You can create it or something happens that’s unexpected. And the goal is to make the choice in a way that serves you best. And the way I believe that happens is step number one is you need to be aware of your emotions because the way I look at it is your emotions are information. Okay. And they show you that something wants to shift.

Jordan Tarver: So when we, when we feel frustration, when we feel [00:30:00] anxiety, fear, worry, stress, those uncomfortable emotions, a lot of times we send ourselves into a spiral. We get in our head and we lose a lot of our life force because we let these emotions kind of over, overpower us. But lately I’ve been trying to see that as information.

Jordan Tarver: Instead, when I feel those things, ask myself, where in my life do I need to make a shift to ease this tension? And so this emotional awareness becomes your competitive edge in life. And it doesn’t become something you need to be afraid of. Your emotions don’t become something you need to push away. They become a piece of information that can really propel you forward past your problems.

Jordan Tarver: And once you have that awareness of your emotions and you feel that something wants to shift, the goal is to really ignite the light of that change journey by focusing on small shifts, because I believe small shifts are the biggest lever to pull. Change isn’t about doing crazy things. It’s not about changing your life overnight.

Jordan Tarver: It’s about the small, daily, consistent actions that compound into something greater. [00:31:00] And I think if we can focus on the small shifts, we can relieve the pressure that, that the world makes us feel to change your life. And it become, it can become something that we’re excited about, something we look forward to, something that we’re, um, enthusiastic to choose.

Jordan Tarver: Because I think too many times people think they’d have to do something crazy when in reality, small shifts make a huge difference. And lastly, I like to think of change as a way to create a ripple in the world. And a lot of times we create change for ourselves. We create change to be better people, to do better in work, uh, to be a better partner, to be a better business partner.

Jordan Tarver: But what we forget and don’t realize is when we make a change in our life, it creates a ripple in the world of change that will. ripple forever, you know, without end. And so if you choose change in your life, if you are become aware of your emotions, if you make the small shifts. You are not only changing your [00:32:00] life, but you’re also changing the lives of the people around you because you’re leading a life that has that energy.

Jordan Tarver: You’re leading a life that goes out into the world as a better person. So you can show up better for those people and encourage them to make change in their lives. Because what you’ll realize is that when people see you becoming a better person and they can experience that through their, your, their interactions with you, they’re going to be inspired to do something similar.

Jordan Tarver: And so I think if we can really understand that when we choose change, we’re not just choosing it for ourselves, but for choosing it for the people around us to

Judd Shaw: amazing. And I want to unpack some of that because, you know, in, in the second part, you remind me, I mean, one of the closest people in my life, this guy buzz, he always says, celebrate the small wins, celebrate the small wins. Reminds me, you know, cause we set big goals and big targets and yearly or quarterly [00:33:00] things.

Judd Shaw: And sometimes it’s like celebrate the small wins. They, they keep that momentum of positivity and, you know, enjoy in your sale.

Jordan Tarver: Yeah.

Judd Shaw: You know, and on the ripple effect, I mean, it’s really hard to measure, but it’s exponential in impact. I’ll tell you a short story you’ll enjoy. I, I was on my way to a, a conference called build your personal brand where they’re supposed to help you learn all these techniques.

Judd Shaw: And the Uber driver picks me up and I’m with buzz and the Uber driver, she’s, you know, hello, Judd. I go, yes. I go, what’s happening? What’s happening? Early morning. What’s, what’s going on? Tell me what’s going on in your life. And she tells me, well, I used to be on, uh, one time I was on American Idol. Wow. What, what did, how far did you make it and what, [00:34:00] you know, and I’m just jiving with her and connecting.

Judd Shaw: And she tells me that she recently started driving Uber. To make money. But what you really wanted to be doing is working on her personal brand as a minute musician. I said, Oh my goodness, you’re not going to believe this. We’re heading to a conference called build your personal brain. You got to come with us.

Judd Shaw: She said, I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. I’m in my slippers. I didn’t plan to go to any conference and Buzz is like, don’t worry about the slippers. No one cares. Make it your fashion thing. It’ll be part of you carried in confidence. We’ll sneak you in. And I could tell she was thinking about it and Jordan, I said to her, are you really going to go drive Uber all day long and miss this conferences thing that you really want to do?

Judd Shaw: And she says, okay, okay. So she goes to the conference with us. We, you know, have lunch with her. She, she’s singing to [00:35:00] us in the Uber. Uh, and later she emails to tell me that she’s quitting Uber to go work now on her brand completely. And the, that’s not the end of it. The end of the story is Brittany Holmes.

Judd Shaw: It was my Uber driver who sang the national anthem at the AFC championship football game this year.

Jordan Tarver: I got the full body chills right now. What? Incredible.

Judd Shaw: I saw her. I was like, what? And I wrote to her and we’re going to have a podcast show about it. But talk about impact.

Jordan Tarver: Yeah, that’s, that’s, I love that story and I love that you’ve been able to see the, the ripple and it’s really, I think it’s really beautiful when you can actually see the ripple, um, and, and how far it’s, you know, rippled out [00:36:00] and, and who’s impacted and how it’s impacted those people.

Jordan Tarver: I had a similar experience when I was in, um, I was in Greece for my honeymoon this past fall and, um, We were in Greece and I was just kind of like, you know, usually at your honeymoon, you think pina coladas, cocktails by the pool and you’re just resort style. Now there was a lot of times in my honeymoon where I was.

Jordan Tarver: Spiraling with a lot of self doubt, you know, I’ve found a lot of separation from my work for the first time in a while. And I was really thinking about things deeply. And I was wondering why, why am I doing what I’m doing? Is it even what I want to do? Can I do the things I want to do? I was kind of in this like downward spiral of lack of self worth, lack of self esteem and we were hanging out at the beach and we were kind of heading back to our hotel.

Jordan Tarver: And so we call our driver. And he pulls up and we get in the car trying to do everything we can to leave [00:37:00] the sand from the beach behind and we get in and before leaving for our honeymoon, me and my wife made an intention to always ask where people are originally from, not how are you with the intention to maybe open up a deeper conversation.

Jordan Tarver: And so we get in the car and our driver’s name is Dimitri. And we ask, you know, where are you originally from? And he said, he’s, he’s from Athens and we were in Santorini at the time. And when he was in Athens, he was, uh, just living a life that felt like wasn’t aligned with what he wanted. He was stuck.

Jordan Tarver: And just wanted something different for himself. And so he packed up his stuff and he moved to Santorini, but now he felt stuck in a life that wasn’t aligned with what he wanted again, you know, he felt like he needed to get out of his job or do something different, but he was scared to make that change.

Jordan Tarver: And I kind of felt this urge from the universe to kind of speak up and kind of share my message with them. And what I told him is that, you know, it’s never going to get easier. It’s well, it’s never going to get more uncomfortable, get more [00:38:00] comfortable. It will get easier because you’ll get familiar with the process of change.

Jordan Tarver: And I kind of just encouraged him that if he was able to move from Athens to Santorini, that he can do it again. And the pain of changing is less than the pain of remaining the same or staying in a life that you don’t want to live. And it completely shifted his perspective on his current situation. He started to see this discomfort as a pathway to possibility and something new.

Jordan Tarver: Yeah. And I think it was a really great example of the ripple effect because, because I’ve done the work in my life and made the changes, I was able to show up for him in that moment and the way he needed to be most. And I was simply able to create a ripple in his life just by speaking my truth, because I’ve made changes in a, in a way that put me in a place to kind of speak, speak the message that I want to share.

Jordan Tarver: And I think it’s so powerful to live this type of life because of not what you can do for yourself, but at the end, what you can do for other people. [00:39:00]

Judd Shaw: So cool. So cool. You know, I find it no coincidence that, uh, my new year’s resolution, I don’t really make a new year’s resolution. I make beginning of the year, my goal of something I really want to work on.

Judd Shaw: And this year was intentionality. I want it to be more intentional about the things I do. So, because, you know, I have a habit of wanting something yesterday, not being incredibly patient. I’m like a four year old. I just can’t control myself. And, but I also learned that sometimes shooting from the hip, emotional deregulation or dysregulation, not taking a breath, I make the problem.

Judd Shaw: worse. And then through [00:40:00] a therapy I did for quite a while, DBT, dialectical behavioral therapy, I learned techniques to help regulate my emotions. So while the problem didn’t go away, I didn’t make it worse. So now my life is in a better place than it has ever been. And so I decided I wanted to be more intentional.

Judd Shaw: Moving forward, so at least I can remain conscious to the more important decisions and not fall to my subconscious behavior, reaction to actions. Now that I have one of the leaders on this subject, I get to ask you, my friend, how does someone like myself. Become more intentional,

Jordan Tarver: think intentionality starts with understanding what is important to you, or some might call it your values and beliefs.

Jordan Tarver: [00:41:00] We can really understand the things that are the pillars of our life, the non negotiables, the things that represent our truth. Those are the things that we can use to help us. inform our actions in our everyday. So maybe you, I mean, maybe you value being intentional, but maybe you value honesty. Maybe you value care connection.

Jordan Tarver: Those are your values. Then those are your pieces of information that remind you how you want to be living every day to live a life that feels aligned with who you truly are in the person you want to show up as in the world.

Judd Shaw: That’s great. Uh, you know, sometime along my transformation journey. Um, I was asked by a therapist, what are your core values?

Judd Shaw: And I started saying, uh, at work, we want to be our client’s knight in shining armor. Uh, we try to work the [00:42:00] wow, uh, we’re chivalrous to each other. They’re like, no, no, not your company core values, your core values. And would you believe up until that point, 40, whatever years old. I had never thought of core values for myself.

Judd Shaw: I didn’t know what they were. So at first I started, uh, uh, honesty, uh, fairness. Mine was like kindergarten core values, but my therapist also pointed, there’s no surprise that you would start there if you never had them before. And so now, you know, through this core value worksheet and really focusing on them, they are cherished family.

Judd Shaw: Cultivate genuine safety, live with passion, seek adventure, promote compassion. Those are my core values. And to your point, until I had those, now I have my North [00:43:00] Star. Now I know I can be intentional if I put those and say, does it honor those core values? I’m probably making a better decision. Wow. Thank you.

Judd Shaw: Thank you. Thank you.

Jordan Tarver: I love that. I think it’s a, it’s a good invitation for all of us, um, to, to kind of seek that depth in our own journey and seek the things that help us become the people we want to be in the world. And also what kind of energy we want to put out because I’m a big believer that your reality reflects energy you put out.

Jordan Tarver: And so if you have beliefs that are rooted in positivity, and you live by those beliefs, Your life will reflect those exact things, and I think it’s also a great way to live a fulfilling life, because if you’re living true to your beliefs, how could you be unfulfilled? Because those are the things that are really guiding you.

Jordan Tarver: So I think it’s a great invitation for anyone listening to really start to understand the things that you believe in your life and things that you value and making choices and decisions that align with those things. [00:44:00]

Judd Shaw: I want to just switch gear for a moment and ask you about your, uh, daily inspiration.

Judd Shaw: So I’ve, I do it. Uh, I had my, my family do it. Uh, I know I have friends that are, uh, common friends that we have that, that do it. And they. They go to a phone number, text Daily dose, um, and what’s the number, Jordan, while we’re saying it?

Jordan Tarver: 7 0 7 2 8 9 7 0 4 7.

Judd Shaw: And you can text daily dose and then you get a couple little instructions.

Judd Shaw: And Jordan is sending a really a sort of an inspirational text and he’ll be able to tell you a little bit more about it. But what I can tell you from mine is I was. But like flabbergasted that it was actually Jordan, not this AI bot, not this auto thing that’s going to say good, bad, [00:45:00] ugly, whatever you respond.

Judd Shaw: It was like he responded. And I thought that was incredibly beautiful, Jordan, what led to that and how do you even do it?

Jordan Tarver: Um, well, thanks for being a part of it. We’re better because we’re doing it. It’s amazing. Um, I don’t really know what led to it. I, uh, I’ve put out a newsletter, a weekly newsletter for the last three, four years, and that’s just once a week.

Jordan Tarver: And I just felt like it wasn’t. The level of connection that I was trying to create with my community, and I wanted something that was a little bit more intimate and there’s services out there now where you can have a kind of a think of a newsletter, but in a texting sense, and I thought, well, what a great idea to connect with people on a more regular basis to provide short bits of.

Jordan Tarver: Inspiration affirmations, things to help people just believe in themselves a little bit more and see the positive in the world. And so I [00:46:00] started sending these two, two years ago, and it just has been such a beautiful way to connect with people. And I’ve had, you know, a lot of, like you’re saying a lot of great conversations.

Jordan Tarver: I think people are really surprised when they, they find out it’s, it’s me behind the phone, um, that’s sending these things. And, uh, I. respond to everyone that kind of responds back. And I think there’s a lot of these communities out there that are actually ran by the AI systems or their bot generated messages.

Jordan Tarver: And I just didn’t, that just didn’t resonate with me. You know, it’s not how I’ve wanted to run my brand. And that’s also the value that I want to provide. I want to be a human, a resource that people can rely on and lean into when they need support. And that’s what I hope this, uh, service provides for people.

Judd Shaw: You know, for the listener, my experience is it’s, it’s always like, Oh, I needed to hear that today. Oh, wow. Did I need to hear that one today? You know, it’s just each one I, you know, that’s the [00:47:00] universe to me, but really, and I think I’ve even responded and said like, Jordan, I needed to hear that. Yeah. I

Jordan Tarver: think, I think you did last week.

Judd Shaw: Right. Um, you know, what, when you are on a mission. To empower organizations and people to create space for their own magic to choose by choosing change. So they’re, they’re getting magic by creating that space and choosing change. Tell me, what does that mean? I

Jordan Tarver: think magic can look different in many different, it really depends on the context, but creating space for life to happen for you in a way that you want it to happen.

Jordan Tarver: And I think we create space for magic to happen by. Investing in [00:48:00] intentional choices and changes that serve us best and serve our mission best. And so in the context of the corporate world, we create space for magic to happen by building teams that are able to create that space. And that’s why I believe deeply in change, starting at a team and personal level, because your company is going to be a reflection of the people that work for that company.

Jordan Tarver: And the energy that they bring to the day. And so I’m a big believer that if companies want to move from feeling like the victim of change to put me in the force of it, we need to start at the people. And that’s why I invest in this personal development world, because I’ve seen the. impact of what can happen when there is a team that is full of people that are seeking change, seeking growth, seeking to improve, because that’s where the magic really starts to happen.

Jordan Tarver: When people are looking for opportunities to refine, do something different, [00:49:00] become more efficient, innovate, come up with ideas that would, Help them serve on their mission more deeply and in a more valuable way and then, you know, in a just a life context, the magic happens. We’re making those choices that are aligned with our beliefs and the person we want to show up as in the world.

Jordan Tarver: I think a lot of possibilities happen because we make choices that create space for those possibilities to align with our path. I think, you know, in a universe defined by infinity. I think it is absolutely mind blowing to think that you can’t have anything that you want and you get what you want or you create those possibilities for your choices and changes.

Jordan Tarver: And so if we can start investing more time and more energy into choosing the things that align with the people we want to become, we will create more magic.

Judd Shaw: I love that. And speaking of magic, uh, you, your creativity is off the charts. I know I’ve [00:50:00] seen your brain work. I mean, you have a thousand post its behind you.

Judd Shaw: People don’t even see your wall, how you lay things out. Can you tell us like over the next six months, whatever, what’s, what’s going on big on your plate?

Jordan Tarver: Um, so a lot of 2024 will be spent speaking. That’s kind of the. The way forward right now, but, uh, for the people that do see post it notes behind my, my camera behind me right now, um, we’re, we’re definitely working on the next book concept.

Jordan Tarver: So that is something that I can’t guarantee will be out in 2024. Um, but it’s something people will at least be hearing more of soon. I put out, you deserve this shit in 2021. So it’s been about, um, I guess coming up on three years this June and I’m just ready for that next, that next book. evolution of the message I put out in the world and making a statement on [00:51:00] And, and really putting my perspective out there in hopes that it will find the people that need it most.

Jordan Tarver: So that’s the, the next big thing coming on the horizon.

Judd Shaw: I am psyched for that brother. And that’s going to be incredible. And please let me know in any way I can help support you. Um, you know, uh, Jordan, I, I think to end best is to ask you with 30, 000 plus at this point. Who have read your book for the countless people who get your daily inspiration and your love and your energy and all the things you’re working on your keynote speak is.

Judd Shaw: Beautiful. With so much for everyone else, how does Jordan Tarver best authentically connect with himself?[00:52:00]

Jordan Tarver: I have a deep spiritual practice, um, that consists of meditation, journaling, spending time in nature, deep conversations with the people I love. I think finding ways to always explore my truth and learn more about that truth, you know, because I think that truth is, uh, my, my understanding of it is, is forever developing and evolving and the ways for me to access that, that I found best for myself right now is, is through those practices that are, that are not tied to work.

Jordan Tarver: They’re not tied to money. They’re not tied to vanity metrics. They’re specifically tied to understanding the truth and my truth in the world. And I think through that spiritual connection that I’ve developed over the years, I’ve really [00:53:00] found. Um, a beautiful understanding of, of, of who I am, who I’m setting out to become.

Jordan Tarver: And, uh, I guess the person I’m trying to get back to all at the beginning.

Judd Shaw: My friend, my beautiful human being, Jordan Tarver, thank you so much. I so appreciate you and I am so grateful that you decided to spend some of your incredibly valuable and meaningful time with me today.

Jordan Tarver: Thanks for having me, man.

Jordan Tarver: I appreciate, uh, I appreciate your, your open heart and I appreciate your, your intention in the world and, uh, just the person you show up as a, we, uh, we need more Judds in the world. That is absolutely for sure. Thanks for having me.

Judd Shaw: Thanks, Jordan. I want to extend my deepest gratitude to you. If you’ve enjoyed this episode, please follow us on your favorite platform or share this episode with a friend.

Judd Shaw: You can also follow me on Instagram at Judd Shaw Official. A [00:54:00] special thank you to personal injury law firm, Judd Shaw Injury Law, for their support in podcast to life. Remember friends, authenticity isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being real. It’s about embracing our vulnerabilities, celebrating our strengths, and owning our stories.

Judd Shaw: Until next time.