Life In Prison, Injustice, & Holding To Sanity | Judy Henderson

Judy Henderson:
So I thought, there’s no way they’re going to find me guilty of capital murder. There’s no way. That’s. Whenever they came in and said guilty, I was just, I heard my mother screaming, and I thought, oh, my God. I was still kind of like, what? What did they just say? But then when I heard my mother screaming, I thought they did say that. You know, I turned around and I smiled. I said, mom, I’m okay. I’m all right.

Judy Henderson:
And I was broken.

Judd Shaw:
Judy, it is such a gift to be sitting across from you today. Your story isn’t just one of injustice. It’s one about faith that didn’t break you, kindness that wouldn’t die. And you embody both. And your voice, finally free, matters more than ever now. And thank you for being willing to share it with us today.

Judy Henderson:
Jed. I am so glad to be here for multiple reasons. As you know, I enjoy being able to sit here with you today and be able to tell my story. And I do want the world to know you don’t give up, ever, on anything. Not any part of your life or your dreams.

Judd Shaw:
You live through what most people could not imagine, 36 years behind bars for a crime you did not commit.

Judy Henderson:
Correct.

Judd Shaw:
We’ve heard in the opening of this series from Bob Ramsey, your attorney for over three decades, who told us about the night of the murder and the injustice. But without getting into the crime itself, can you just tell us how you got caught up in it?

Judy Henderson:
Sure, Judd. It was very easy to get caught up in it without even knowing that I was caught up in. Just to begin with, I had been a battered woman for 12 years. So as I later found out, that I didn’t know I was a battered woman because they didn’t have the battered women syndrome in those days. It wasn’t until I went to prison that I heard that term. But I realized then, after I found out more about it, that my brain, battered women’s brains, are wired a little differently. And we are passive. We don’t ask questions because those questions could cause violence.

Judy Henderson:
Your partner would take it as you mistrust them. You don’t believe them. Why are you asking me these things? You know, you don’t need to know. So it just would always turn into a disaster. And so I had already been prone to learn not to ask questions. And so whenever I met my co defendant, which, if it’s okay, I’d prefer not to give him credit by mentioning his name, your honor. But he was very suave and debonair, wore a three piece Suit, very intelligent. He had been in the ministry at one time, and I want to point out a red flag there, because.

Judy Henderson:
Been in the ministry at one time, okay? I look back and I think, why didn’t I pick up on that? That he wasn’t in the ministry now. He didn’t practice any kind of religion. He didn’t go to church, he didn’t attend services. He never prayed at meals like Christians did, and at minister. But then I didn’t pay any attention because I later found out that there’s all kinds of addictions. Drugs, alcohol, gambling, shopping. However, my addiction was love. You know, it’s something that I received from my mother all my life.

Judy Henderson:
But for my male figures in my life, it was abuse, you know, from my father to those that came into my life to molest me. And so I lacked that. And I wanted it. I wanted it so bad, you know, just for somebody to be kind. And so whenever I met him, my co defendant, he was. He was that. He was kind, he was nice, he was polite, he opened doors. You know, didn’t fight, didn’t argue, wasn’t jealous if some gentleman looked at me or telling me I smiled too much.

Judy Henderson:
Because I love people. I’m a people person. And I know in my marriage, we would go to the Royals games, and I’d just be looking around at everybody because I love people. I love being around people. You know, if you want to talk, okay, let’s talk. But whenever I got home, I would get a beating because I smiled too much or I said hi too many times. So I noticed it with my co defendant. He wasn’t like that.

Judy Henderson:
You know, I was able to just be who I was. I felt that’s who I was. And so I felt safe. And that just seemed so crazy to me, knowing that I was thought. Thought I was in love with somebody that could be so violent and have such a horrible dark side, you know, that just today, it still sends chills up my spine that I could have been in a relationship with that type of a personality. So that’s kind of what led to. Well, that is what led to the crime, because I was willing to make those choices and do what he asked me to do, unbeknownst that anyone would be harmed or especially killed. So, you know, I wrote a letter to the victim’s family while I was incarcerated to let them know how sorry I was and that, you know, I would forever remember.

Judy Henderson:
I know the pain that they must have felt and still feel. That was kind of like I had to do it. Not just for them, but for myself. I had to take ownership of choices that I made. You know, a lot of people say God put you there. God did this to you. Why did he do this to you? Why didn’t he intervene? Why didn’t something happen? And I felt that way for a long time, and I was very angry. But then I realized, you know, God gives us freedom of choice, and the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy.

Judy Henderson:
And we allow that spirit to guide us in the wrong direction, and we’re just tuned out to what’s really going on, if that makes any sense.

Judd Shaw:
Yeah, sure.

Judy Henderson:
I ended up being involved in this and I got shot. And so that led to everything else that took place after that.

Judd Shaw:
It’s so interesting, the psyche of how people can get caught up in these things. I know that your father was abusive. I know that you had siblings, and oftentimes you stood up to your father to take the brunt of that force to protect your siblings. Correct. That when you got married, at one point your ex husband pushed you down the stairs and you’re pregnant.

Judy Henderson:
Correct.

Judd Shaw:
He wasn’t there when one of your children were born. He was also very abusive. And so now Mr. Nice Guy shows up.

Judy Henderson:
Yes.

Judd Shaw:
And I can appreciate, because I’ve been there, and that feeling of that attention from that opposite sex feels lovable.

Judy Henderson:
Right.

Judd Shaw:
And it, and. And it can be very alluring and addicting because probably all those chemicals are shooting off in our brain just like a drug, just like what happens with other addictions. And it’s like, wow, I want more of this.

Judy Henderson:
Right.

Judd Shaw:
And there were some red flags, but that, that hook, it keeps you just like any other addiction.

Judy Henderson:
Yes.

Judd Shaw:
From heating those flags.

Judy Henderson:
Yes.

Judd Shaw:
Right. He tells you, harry owes me money. Harry’s the victim. You gotta go meet with Harry. And you’re like, nah, I don’t want to meet with Harry. You know, and he’s like, okay, you gotta go meet with Harry. I need you to set up a meeting with Harry. You’re like, stop with the Harry.

Judd Shaw:
I don’t want to meet Harry.

Judy Henderson:
Right.

Judd Shaw:
And he keeps going until there’s one night where it’s like, oh, you’re meeting Harry.

Judy Henderson:
Yes.

Judd Shaw:
In that little change, I wonder how much subconsciously the battered woman syndrome, that reaction comes up and goes, this feels different. I don’t think I can say no to this.

Judy Henderson:
Yes, it was a fear, a fear that popped up all of a sudden that I hadn’t felt before. You know, with him, I felt a turn in his personality, a switch.

Judd Shaw:
Right.

Judy Henderson:
And didn’t Ever see that before? You know, so it was like, oh, gosh, it kind of. It just caught me off guard.

Judd Shaw:
Yeah. Now, I like how Bob Ramsey likes to refer to him as the trigger man. Yeah. He was involved in the Mafia, right?

Judy Henderson:
I believe so, yeah.

Judd Shaw:
He never told you that?

Judy Henderson:
No.

Judd Shaw:
You thought he was actually some kind of businessman.

Judy Henderson:
Correct.

Judd Shaw:
Never could figure out what job he had.

Judy Henderson:
Correct.

Judd Shaw:
On that evening, you mentioned you got shot. Where did you get shot?

Judy Henderson:
I got shot in the stomach on the right side.

Judd Shaw:
What does getting shot feel like?

Judy Henderson:
At first you feel the impact and you. It’s like, what was that? What was that? You know, you don’t feel a pain. But it knocked me. The power of it knocked me into the ditch because I had on like a sundress and a pair of heels and there was a slight ditch there. And I remember falling into the ditch and I still didn’t feel any pain. I stood up and whenever I got up on my feet, I felt something warm running down my stomach. And I put my hand on my right side and saw there was blood. Still no pain.

Judy Henderson:
It was. And I realized that it was numb from the impact. It just made that area numb and kind of burning, you know, warm. Warm would be more. Because the burning didn’t start till later, till after the. It’s kind of like it was. Just froze, you know, and then as the. You know, as it went on, as time went on, it started burning and starting hurting and it was painful.

Judy Henderson:
And we didn’t know if it had went in because there seemed to be no exit. So it had to have been. We thought it was just inside. Inside my stomach right now.

Judd Shaw:
He was going to take you to. I mean, it’s really out of the movies, right? Some veterinarian doctor who’s working for the mafia on the side, stitching bullet wounds up and. But from my understanding, you didn’t end up going to that doctor.

Judy Henderson:
No.

Judd Shaw:
What did you. So where did you go to take care of this just on your own?

Judy Henderson:
Well, after the crime happened, then we went to a friend of his that I had barely knew. I’d met once or twice. You know, not. Not in any depth of conversation did I ever have with this gentleman. But he owned a bonding company and he ended up being involved in this. And I did not know until that he was that involved until we went to his house that night for my co. Defendant to let him know that it was done. And I thought I was sitting there because he told me to stay in the car and he said, I want to go in and talk to him and see what we need to do.

Judy Henderson:
And so when he said that, I thought, what we need to do, because he wanted me to move the body before we got there. And I couldn’t. I couldn’t. You know, I think I was just in total shock from what I had just seen from the bullet. So whenever he went in, he was in there a few minutes, and he waved for me to come in, and I did. And it was still painful to walk by then. And they. The gentleman, he took a look at it and he said.

Judy Henderson:
That’s when he told me, you know, told him about the doctor that they could take me to up in St. Louis. And he said a few other things that was just kind of crazy. That made no sense to me, you know, about, you know, bullets. Why do you have these bullets? I thought I told you to get rid of that gun. And it was like, what’s all that mean? You know? But I just let it go because there was so much going on. And it was. It was like being in the movies, Judd.

Judy Henderson:
It was not happening. Not really happening to me.

Judd Shaw:
Right.

Judy Henderson:
And so then we went to St. Louis, but he never took me to the doctor.

Judd Shaw:
How did you heal?

Judy Henderson:
I just healed on my own, you know? Yeah.

Judd Shaw:
Did the bullet stay inside you?

Judy Henderson:
No. The gentleman that. The house we went to said he believed that it just grazed me and didn’t penetrate, so.

Judd Shaw:
And so you took care of your own bullet wound by yourself?

Judy Henderson:
As he had me walking around different places in St. Louis.

Judd Shaw:
The trigger man, did he end up robbing Harry, like, of diamonds? And so he had a whole bunch of diamonds on him.

Judy Henderson:
I don’t know what all he had because I never saw them. He didn’t let me see them. I know that he had a ring, and it seems like a money clip. I think a money clip and a ring. And I don’t know what else after that, because he took them himself and he buried them prior to us going to this other gentleman’s house. So I don’t know what was in the box that he had. And the gun? I don’t know. I don’t know if he put it there.

Judy Henderson:
I can’t remember if he gave it to the gentleman.

Judd Shaw:
Before you both fled to Alaska. At one point, you fled to Alaska to hide out. You were able to call your mother.

Judy Henderson:
Yes.

Judd Shaw:
And it seems like in this wild stuff that’s going on, you still had the sense of. To be able to grasp onto someone from your side so that they know that you didn’t ultimately just disappear in the air and at the time leave your two young children without care, like ran off with a man and don’t care about your children. And so you convinced the trigger man to allow you to meet with your mom?

Judy Henderson:
Correct.

Judd Shaw:
Can you tell me about that moment?

Judy Henderson:
Yes, because I wanted to be sure my children were safe, you know, and it didn’t matter because I felt at that moment after we were in St. Louis and the trigger, the hitman came to supposedly kill us there, that somewhere, somehow, I was going to die. I didn’t know how. I tried to prepare myself for that moment. And I don’t know how you prepare yourself for thinking you’re going to die, get killed. But I did the best I could to hold on to what senses I had at the moment to reach out to my mom because I wanted her to know everything that happened and take care of the children. I wanted them to know that I didn’t just abandon them. I didn’t want my kids to think that I just ran off and didn’t love them, didn’t want them, didn’t care about them.

Judy Henderson:
I wanted them to grow up knowing that their mother loved them deeply. And I was in a bad situation and I couldn’t get out.

Judd Shaw:
How old were they?

Judy Henderson:
My son was 3 and my daughter just turned 13 on that day. The day before.

Judd Shaw:
Wow.

Judy Henderson:
No, it was on the day of the murder.

Judd Shaw:
Her birthday.

Judy Henderson:
Yeah. My co defendant planned it then. Because my thoughts at that time was just on my daughter’s birthday, what we were going to do. And then all of a sudden.

Judd Shaw:
What did you tell your mom?

Judy Henderson:
For one, whenever they came, my mom and stepfather, my co defendant told me, don’t get out of the car. They can come to the car, but don’t you get out and go anywhere with them. Well, you already know. You know, think you’re going to die. You really do feel that. And so I thought, you know, I have nothing to lose. Nothing to lose. But my children and my family have to know because they have to be safe.

Judy Henderson:
And so I asked my mom, I said, can we go to the bathroom? I said, I need to go to the restroom. And she said, yeah, of course. I said, okay. So he looked at me like with such evil dark eyes. And I thought, you know what? I don’t care right now. I don’t care because you’re going to end up killing me anyways. So we went to the restroom and I just broke down and I told her everything, all the details. I said, if something happens to me, mom, I just want you to know, you Know that I love you.

Judy Henderson:
I want to write a note to my children and let them know and to my siblings, please tell them how much I love them. Because I was the oldest of eight and they all looked up to me to be their safeguard, to be their go to sister that would help them out in school or whatever problems they had. And later on, they were teenagers when I moved back to where I was with my parents. So they’d always come over all the time. They’d have parties there and not wild parties. Let me clear this up. But they knew it was a safe place to bring their friends, you know, but she had to know. And she is the only one that ever knew all the details about what had happened.

Judy Henderson:
And I told her, no matter what, mother, do not say anything. You cannot say anything. You cannot get involved. I said, I don’t think I will come back, you know, and it was my mom. She was just sobbing. I mean, how do you let your daughter go knowing that she may not ever come back, that she’s going to be killed by somebody? And I can’t even imagine my. My daughter telling me those things. The pain that I always felt like I caused my mom, which I did by my choices, you know, it was a guilt and for my family that I carried for a long time.

Judy Henderson:
I still work on that. But my mom was a trooper, you know, she did a lot of praying. She was very kind and sweet and always good to everybody. She didn’t care if you were straight? Gay, because I had a couple brothers that were gay. And she said, bring your funny bunnies to the holidays, you know, she did not care. She was not a judge of anybody. She said, God made us all and everybody has a journey. And she was just that kind of woman, just wanted to help people.

Judd Shaw:
What did you write to your kids?

Judy Henderson:
I didn’t want to tell them what had happened, but I just wanted them to know how deeply I love them. And I hope that someday that they would forgive me for not being there. That I would always watch over them. No matter where I was at, I would watch over them. And it’s not my choice. And I’m not here right now. And when you get older, you’ll understand.

Judd Shaw:
Before you fled, you mentioned this incident to hitman in the hotel. Whoever it was, somebody hired this hitman to kill you, Correct. And the guy takes you into a motel room, right?

Judy Henderson:
Yes.

Judd Shaw:
Can you tell us about what happened?

Judy Henderson:
Yes. While we were there at the hotel, because we went to St. Louis. I later found out not for my. Well, I was Supposed to have seen a doctor, but did not. But he had a meeting with somebody at the bank, down inside a vault. And I did not know who this person was. Never heard of the person, never seen the person.

Judy Henderson:
But I was in the vault with them because he would not let me out of his sight, no matter what. He would not let me be alone. And later, of course, I thought, oh, he cares a lot about me, you know, he doesn’t want me to get harmed anymore. And it’s crazy. I just look back and I think, how could I be that sick, you know, to think those thoughts. That he really cared and put me in the position that he did. But whenever we left there, then we went back to the hotel room and there was a knock on the door. I think he got a call.

Judy Henderson:
Maybe he got a call. You know what, Judd? I can’t remember. It seems like he did get a call from this gentleman because he knew him. You know, evidently they had. Well, I know later I found out they had done other things together. And I didn’t know at that time, before the call, before he came to the room, until he got to the room and I found out. And then whenever he got to the room, knocked on the door, he came in. But there was something strange.

Judy Henderson:
You know, I had a strange feeling about it. Whenever this person walked in and he sat down at the table and he was silent, but he pulled out a gun with a silencer on it. And then he spoke and he said, I was sent to kill you both. And, you know, my body just went limp. And he saw me look out the window. And because we were on the lower level of the hotel and that’s where my car was. And I wasn’t sure if I could get out the window or not, but that was my thought. And I remember him telling me, judy, don’t look out there.

Judy Henderson:
It doesn’t matter, because there’s somebody out there standing by your car. I remember that. And then my co. Defendant asked him, why? What are you talking about? Why are you. Why? Why do you have that gun? What’s going on? What do you mean? You have to get rid of us. And he said, I was sent to kill you both. You first. And then I’m taking Judy for her to make a call and tell the person that he talked to at the house that night before we left, that gave us the directions on where to go.

Judy Henderson:
Where you hid the gems. Yeah. And then there was a switch in his personality, in his tone. And he looked at me kind of tilt. I see it as I’m sitting here, tilted his head. And he said, are you Tessie Hines daughter? And I said, yes. And he said, your mother has a picture of you in her shop, doesn’t she? And I said, yes, she does. And he said, I remember him shaking his head, and he said, today you’re not going to die.

Judy Henderson:
I said, what? He said, whenever me and my wife and our children came to Springfield, she came to give us food, clothing, and helped us when we were homeless. She would drive her Cadillac underneath the bridges and on the railroad tracks, helping those that had nothing. And she said. He said, I will never forget that. And for her kindness, you’re going to live. And this was years prior to this. Yes. That’s how powerful God is.

Judy Henderson:
You know, what the enemy meant to kill, steal and destroy. God had already set it up, you know, years before that, probably three or four years before that, that this is not going to work. You know, I’ve allowed her to make the choices that she made, but here’s where I’m stopping it from happening.

Judd Shaw:
Talk about the kindness of the ripple effect that your mother had in helping the community and ultimately this gentleman who now ultimately saved your life as a result of your mother’s kindness.

Judy Henderson:
Yes, that’s God. That is God. You can’t look at it in any other way. For those that are unbelievers, I don’t understand how they could listen to that and not think. That was divine intervention.

Judd Shaw:
And the fact that he recognized you.

Judy Henderson:
Yes.

Judd Shaw:
Because of that photo.

Judy Henderson:
Yes.

Judd Shaw:
Hanging in the shop. What. What was that feeling when he walked out?

Judy Henderson:
And it’s like, just like, you know, I’ve never been that close to death other than whenever I got shot. Now, though, Judd, I have to tell you, I look back and I see where I tell people I must be the cat of nine lives because, you know, so many times like this happened. The bullet, you know, I got shot, then a hitman was sent. I’m still alive. And then we go to Alaska.

Judd Shaw:
Right.

Judy Henderson:
And the reason we went to Alaska was because my co defendant and him made a plan to go back and kill the one that put the hit out. Yes.

Judd Shaw:
The guy that he went to visit right after the shooting.

Judy Henderson:
Yes. And as we were in the car, they were going to meet at a certain place that night and do it. And as we were driving, I said, no, I don’t know where all of a sudden this courage came from, you know, but after that divine intervention took place, it was like, it’s done. We are finished. This is not going to happen. You’re going to stop. And he said the only way we’re going to stop is if we go to Alaska and get away from this, you know, get away as far as we can where he can’t find us. So for that reason, that’s why we went to Alaska.

Judd Shaw:
And you, you hid out there for a few months, right?

Judy Henderson:
Six months.

Judd Shaw:
Six months. You couldn’t go anywhere. Lived literally in this apartment. He had, there’s some roommates, right. Some other guy and girl that the trigger man knew from prior relationship, business.

Judy Henderson:
Dealings with the golds and gold mines in Alaska.

Judd Shaw:
Okay.

Judy Henderson:
And other things I found out after I was there.

Judd Shaw:
And I think the woman who you’re living with knows now that there’s like a reward out and, and basically flips and, and puts you up, you know, up to law enforcement. And they come in and, and they arrest you and they extradite you back to Missouri.

Judy Henderson:
Correct, correct.

Judd Shaw:
When, when the trigger man was like, we got to go to this attorney, I know this attorney. Knowing already the obstacle, the, the, the tentacles of the trigger man. Right. All these people that are. Now you’re starting to see the breadth of the evil connections, the dark connections that he has.

Judy Henderson:
Yes.

Judd Shaw:
He’s recommending this attorney that. As if he knows him. Right. Was there ever like a red flag that this attorney may not be looking out for? My interest may be tied to the mafia. Like why are we going to this guy?

Judy Henderson:
I’ll tell you why. We went to this guy. Because I recommended this guy because he handled my divorce from my ex husband after 12 years of marriage. And he was somebody I knew. So I thought he would be somebody that would help me, you know, it was somebody I knew. And he had told me because I worked for the court administrator’s office at the time when I met this attorney and he was willing to handle my divorce.

Judd Shaw:
Right.

Judy Henderson:
And so we did that. And he was always nice to me when he would come in and file pleadings. And so I thought this is the perfect guy. You know, he’s dealt with mafia. He’s been the attorney for mafia figures before, Right. And so I thought, well, he will help me get, figure this out, how to get out of this, how this is how what we’re supposed to do. Because I’d never been involved with the law or arrested for anything in my life, right. And but whenever I got there, we got to the, or got to the law office, things kind of turned.

Judy Henderson:
I mean, not kind of turned, they did turn. You know, it was my co defendant that did all the talking. He Got to talk to him. And I was still in pain from the gun, the bullet wound. And so I laid down on the couch and I was trying to rest. And they continued to talk. And the next thing I heard was, let’s go. The attorney and him decided we should go to Alaska because that way they couldn’t find us.

Judy Henderson:
And the attorney had connections in the police department everywhere. So he would be able to keep us abreast of what was happening with law enforcement and would alert us if anything was going to happen. And that’s exactly what happened. And he said, let me know where you’re at, I need your number. So him and my co defendant conversed from that moment on. I was never taught to.

Judd Shaw:
So although you were a prior client, you didn’t realize that he also had one other client, which was the associations and the mafia that were a much more important client than you.

Judy Henderson:
Yeah.

Judd Shaw:
When you were then having this conversation and you go out to Alaska to hide out and what was there, any part that you felt that you weren’t really this innocent victim, that you’ve now become a part of this?

Judy Henderson:
There was, you know, and I thought, you know, I couldn’t. I really could not take the thought of me being a part of taking somebody’s lives. It was playing on my psyche, it was playing on me mentally. And I just wanted to end it because I knew in my heart that it would end up being over anyways. And if anybody was going to kill me, it was going to be me killing myself. I wasn’t going to wait for that moment any longer. And so that’s when I attempted suicide in Alaska. And that’s whenever the violent side of Greg turned or my co defendant.

Judy Henderson:
Bleep. That’s whenever the violent side of him. I saw, other than killing a gentleman, that he was physically violent with me because he took me out of the hospital. They flew me to a small town, the helicopter, the medicine medvac. And I did not know that I was totally unconscious, but they said then they had to take me on to a bigger hospital from there because they didn’t have what they needed there to save my life.

Judd Shaw:
How did you try to do it?

Judy Henderson:
Quaaludes. Because he was dealing in quaaludes and kilos of cocaine with some of his partners up there, that I had no idea who they were until I got there.

Judd Shaw:
I imagine being arrested now in Alaska and you’re going to get extradited. It almost felt like a sense of freedom. Like, wow, the law enforcement’s involved now. They know where I’m at. I can get free from this nightmare.

Judy Henderson:
Right, right.

Judd Shaw:
And then you have a lawyer who, out of complete negligence or complete intentionality, puts up evidence that’s flatly, blatantly wrong. Right, Right. Your. Your alibi is, how could you do it? Because you’re on a phone call internationally with somebody else, and yet the prosecutor is drooling because they know that that call was the day before the crime. And so they present that to the jury. And that’s sort of like a nail in the coffin. I mean, once you put up evidence and the prosecutor can kill. Doesn’t really look good.

Judy Henderson:
No, it’s false evidence. You. You know that.

Judd Shaw:
Yeah. You’re now presenting, like, false evidence, so you lose credibility. In fact, before the trial, you offer to get involved and to testify. That message never is relayed to the prosecutor’s office. Likewise, the prosecutor is trying to offer you a sweet plea deal because they have a sense that you got caught up in this, and there’s a lot of other heads that they’re looking for to take down. But that plea offer is never presented to you. Right. So you’re sort of like the lamb sheep.

Judd Shaw:
You know, you’re being set up here so that the trigger man can ultimately go free from whatever stakes they all had in him.

Judy Henderson:
Correct.

Judd Shaw:
When you first heard life without parole, you remember that moment?

Judy Henderson:
Yes. Yes. Even though my case didn’t appear to be very good, there was no evidence. It was mitigating circumstances, no physical evidence. So I thought, there’s no way they’re going to find me guilty of capital murder. There’s no way. And then the judge gave the jury instructions. And with the capital case, as you know, Judd, you have to go out and the jury deliberates to decide if you’re guilty or not guilty.

Judy Henderson:
Then they come back and give the. The foreman gives the decision. And that’s whenever they came in and said, guilty. And I was just. I heard my mother screaming, and I thought, oh, my God. I was still kind of like, what did they just say? But then when I heard my mother screaming, I thought, they did say that. And I just had to suck up however I was feeling. And I had to turn my thoughts and my disposition into letting my mother know, I’m okay.

Judy Henderson:
I’m fine. You know, I turned around and I smiled. I said, mom, I’m okay. I’m all right. And I was broken. I was so broken.

Judd Shaw:
Was angel in the courtroom?

Judy Henderson:
No. No, she was at my business. And that’s whenever she was told she knew I was, you know, that there Was something going on, but she didn’t know what for or why. And that’s whenever she called into a radio station and wanted to dedicate a song to me, and I can’t remember the song. She remembers it very well. And they told her, well, who’s your mom? And she told him. And they said, she was just convicted of murder. She had.

Judy Henderson:
My daughter had no idea until that DJ told her.

Judd Shaw:
Wow.

Judy Henderson:
Yes. She was total. At you go. I can’t even imagine.

Judd Shaw:
Wow. She learned it from a dj.

Judy Henderson:
Yeah.

Judd Shaw:
You’re a religious woman.

Judy Henderson:
Yeah.

Judd Shaw:
A faithful woman.

Judy Henderson:
Yes.

Judd Shaw:
I know you have a deep belief in. In God and Jesus.

Judy Henderson:
Absolutely.

Judd Shaw:
Was there ever a moment that you doubted God like that, that. That God had left you?

Judy Henderson:
Yes, absolutely. Whenever I heard the pain from my mother scream. And then they told me I would have life without parole for 50 years. And I went back to my cell, I thought I started cursing God, you know, not being able to see them again, not being able to hold my children again. I knew nothing about prison. And I thought, but, God, where are you? Where are you? You can stop this at any moment. You have. You are the Almighty.

Judy Henderson:
You have the power to stop it, to change minds, to just flip it. Nothing. Nothing. It was like he was silent, and I did not want anything to do with him. I thought, here I am. You gave me these two beautiful children, and now they’re ripped from me. I am the oldest of eight children that have been caring for my siblings, keeping them safe, and now I can’t be with them any longer. So I.

Judy Henderson:
Whenever I went to prison, yes, I had a lot of anger, Judd.

Judd Shaw:
I really appreciate that. And I’ve heard the footprints in the sand through Alcoholics Anonymous, where, yes, you know, there are these two footprints. God is supposed to be walking beside you, and all suddenly you have this incredibly difficult bottom, rock bottom, time, challenge, struggle. And there’s only one set of footprints. And you say, ha. See, that’s where God left me.

Judy Henderson:
Right?

Judd Shaw:
And then they say, no. That’s when God was carrying you.

Judy Henderson:
Yes.

Judd Shaw:
And so I wonder now, when you look back, where do you think God was during this time?

Judy Henderson:
He was carrying me. Unbeknownst to me, I deserted him. He never deserted me. And I could not have had the strength, nor the courage, nor the resilience, nor the know how or the knowledge, you name it. And I wouldn’t have had any of that if he had not been carrying me in his arms.

Judd Shaw:
So because you’ve made it through, wasn’t God, you have the chance to stop this. It’s that God gives us humans the power of choice.

Judy Henderson:
Correct.

Judd Shaw:
There were choices that you still made that night.

Judy Henderson:
Yes.

Judd Shaw:
That you’ve taken agency and ownership over.

Judy Henderson:
Correct.

Judd Shaw:
And that flipped your own narrative, in a sense, to realize that I could have still said, no, I’m not going there. I could have said, I’m not getting in that car. I could have said when I walked by the bar and I saw him at another booth, the trigger man, and I’m not going back to Harry and getting him in this car. Like, you made these choices, but now that you made those choices, God was there to carry you through them for you to find the resilience to get through it.

Judy Henderson:
Right.

Judd Shaw:
It’s so beautiful.

Judy Henderson:
I look at it like this. I did ceramics whenever I was during my marriage. And, you know, you take this clay and you make it all pretty and everything, and you mold it and you shape it, and then you put it into the kilt and let it bake. And so I look at my situation as being just that. You know, God took this piece of clay that he made, and he put it in the oven, and he started just chipping things away that didn’t belong on that piece of pottery. But it took going through the fire to end up making it the beautiful object that it was meant to be. And I feel like that’s what God did to me. You know, he took me through the fire, but he carried me through the fire, and he taught me things that.

Judy Henderson:
Because I did not get my GED whenever I was in high school, because I was sexually molested by an assistant pastor and my senior year, and I couldn’t go on, and whenever I got to prison, I had my GED in two weeks after I got there. And I let the anger and the love for my children and family fuel me to move forward. And God gave that combination and showed me how to use it right. You know, he gives us these emotions, and we figure out, how are we going to use them to the good, or we’re going to use them for evil. What are we going to do with them?

Judd Shaw:
What’s prison life like?

Judy Henderson:
Wow. So, because I always. My mother always taught me to take care of myself. You know, get up in the mornings, do your hair, do your makeup, you know, when I was old enough to wear it and wanted to. And she always wore dress and heels, no matter what, wherever she went. And so I had a good role model whenever it came to being a lady and a fashionista, I guess you’d call it. And so whenever I went to prison, it was like, what do you mean I can’t have this? What do you mean, I can’t have my clothes? And they took pictures of my hands because I had rings on, you know, expensive rings. And so whenever I went to prison, none of that was there.

Judy Henderson:
There was no. No microwaves. There was no nothing. You know, it was like being dropped off into a foreign land. And these women were used to it. You know, they knew the language, they knew the mannerisms. You have to learn all of this like you’re in a foreign country, Judd. And even the terms they use, there’s no street laws.

Judy Henderson:
Like we have RSMOs here, statutes out here. Of course those apply if there’s any violence or anything happens. But as far as we were governed by policies and procedures, rules that they made. Their theory was to break you down and build you back up. And that’s what they told me. We’re going to break you down and build you back up. And I thought in my mind, oh, no, you’re not. I am as broken as I could possibly be.

Judy Henderson:
And now it’s time to rebuild on my terms. And I just ended up with the anger and the love. Instead of getting bitter, I chose to get better. And that’s when my journey began. After I found out that I was a battered woman, I started seeking therapy. But being in that kind of environment, everybody’s angry, you know, nobody’s happy, everybody’s angry. So nobody cared that I was angry. They were angry too, but they didn’t know how to receive me because I still was.

Judy Henderson:
I wasn’t street wise at all. It was very scary. I didn’t know. We lived on open dorms and four foot wall cubicles like a cow stall. And we had a metal bed with an inch mattress that we slept on and a small locker that we could lock ourselves. But you know, inmates that were career criminals, they knew how to break into them and steal all your stuff. And so I didn’t know how to navigate that world. I didn’t know how to be.

Judy Henderson:
I didn’t know I couldn’t be nice. I couldn’t be friendly. I couldn’t smile a lot. Because they take kindness for weakness. So you really have to try to figure out in your mind how can you stay safe, how can you communicate where it’s not too nice, but it’s not mean, because you don’t want to fight all the time. And women are very passive aggressive. You know, they may not get you at the moment, but they will get you. So then I found out by another offender that befriended me, that she had been in the county jail with or with my co defendant.

Judy Henderson:
Beep. And so I didn’t think anything about it, you know, or that there was any harm in it. And I knew her, she was in the cell with me. So I did know somebody and she was a career criminal. So I felt kind of like, well, she knows the ropes well. And then I found out later, a few months later that she had taken out a contract or he had taken out a beep. He had taken out a contract and she took it and for him. And this was by another offender that was also, you know, an associate.

Judy Henderson:
You can’t call them friends. It takes a long time to have a friend in prison. And she let me know, she said, you do know that this person has a contract on you? I said, what? No, no, I did not know. And so of course, you know, whenever I found that out, I had no choice it was either. And she was a criminal and she was known for carrying a shank. I already knew that. And so I had to figure out how I was going to handle this and do it on my terms as quickly as possible because I would never know when she would strike. So whenever I found that out one day I planned it and I asked another lifer to hold what they call bust at the door.

Judy Henderson:
Don’t let anybody in. I was going to take this woman in there and we were going to have a chat about it. And I knew how I was always already going to approach her because it was the same way my ex husband used to beat me and hit me. I knew she was going to deny it. I knew I had to get the best shot that I could right from the beginning. And. And I knew that I had to make it an example where she would know this isn’t going down like you think it’s going to go down. And so I took her in the bathroom and you know, well, she came in because I told somebody tell her I needed to talk to her.

Judy Henderson:
So she did. She came in not knowing anything. And we sat down on the bench that was a long bench in front of the showers that were open showers. And I asked her, I said, hey. I said, I understand. And before I could get anything else out, I wasn’t going to say it all. I already had it planned in my head what I was going to do. I came around, she sat on my left, I came around with my right and hit her right in the face and knocked her off the bench backwards.

Judy Henderson:
And whenever I did, I just stood up and kicked her as hard as I could, just like my ex husband used to do me. And I stood back because she rolled over and got up and pulled a shank out of her bra. And so that’s whenever I just stepped back a little further and let her come at me and grabbed both wrists, threw her over on the washer and knocked it out of her hand. And about that time, the goon squad came in and they had heard the commotion. And so the offender that was standing at the door grabbed a shank and left with it. And she and I were taken to the hole. But I beat her. Okay.

Judy Henderson:
I’m not going to say the word, but yeah.

Judd Shaw:
And so she gave up on it after that.

Judy Henderson:
What ended up happening is they didn’t let us out in population together, but we went to the hole, they ended up shipping her to Arizona or to Kansas and she ended up cutting a girl’s face up there.

Judd Shaw:
Wow. Can you share any of the moments that actually brought you joy or a sense of purpose? Like what? Where did you find happiness in the darkest place.

Judy Henderson:
Okay, let me continue. Put an end to that scenario. Because whenever you come into prison, you have to, I found out, establish yourself. And I didn’t know how I was going to do that, being with the upbringing I had. And. But whenever that fight occurred, that established who I was with population, you know, so that it turned it out, it turned out being a good thing.

Judd Shaw:
Right.

Judy Henderson:
That was really a bad thing.

Judd Shaw:
Right? You know, street creed.

Judy Henderson:
Yeah, right, yeah, yeah, exactly. And so they knew that as nice as I was, I could be just the opposite. If you want to come at me, let’s. Let’s just do throw down. But where I found the most joy, well, always on my visits, when my children would come and I got to see my son till he was five years old, then my ex husband wouldn’t let him come any longer. But my daughter come all the time. Friends would bring her, my family would bring her up so that I had that connection. I started forming that bond in a new way, you know, with my family and my daughter and my son in a way that I never thought would have to be formed like that.

Judy Henderson:
But those were a highlight, those were a joy. And we had food visits. So one year for Christmas, my first Christmas, my family came. And there was no limit on how many visitors you could have at that time because we only had 100 population now. Well, when I left, there was 1600 women, but I had 25 visitors. My mother and everybody brought turkey, ham, just like you were at home, you know, Had a big dinner, and I was able to take two offenders with me that never got visits, you know, and so that was a joy to be able to do that for them and for them to share my family with them, because they didn’t have families like mine. And I was blessed my entire 36 years knowing I had my family. And during holidays, funerals, weddings, whatever, they always set a picture in the chair for me or at the table.

Judy Henderson:
And so I was always present. They never forgot me when I was away. And they were out there living and having life normally, as everybody does. But then I found other joys, too, because I ended up going to a residence, encounter Christ. And that’s whenever my spirituality started developing. And I saw the kindness of these volunteers that came in that loved us unconditionally. They didn’t judge us. They didn’t appear better than us.

Judy Henderson:
They just loved us to the point where they even washed our feet. And when they did that, it just. Okay, God, I get it. I get it. You’re carrying me. You know, you never left me. So I love that story that you shared, that parable that is just the top.

Judd Shaw:
The man in the Hole.

Judy Henderson:
Yes.

Judd Shaw:
During this series, at the end, we get to meet with you and your daughter Angel.

Judy Henderson:
Yes.

Judd Shaw:
And we’ll hear things like what it was like to parent and mother behind bars, the programs that you’ve started for other mothers, what it was like the day you were receive clemency and ultimately a pardon from. From Governor Greitens.

Judy Henderson:
Yes.

Judd Shaw:
How that went down. What did it feel like getting out of prison? And we’ll get all into that with your daughter, angel, which is incredible. For the first time, the two of you sit down and talk about your experience, Right?

Judy Henderson:
Exactly.

Judd Shaw:
And you lived a whole life in prison.

Judy Henderson:
Yes. Three decades, almost four.

Judd Shaw:
Do you miss anything from there?

Judy Henderson:
You know, I do miss some things from there. This might sound crazy, but I miss being able to help those girls get their freedom, you know, from inside, being right there with them and letting them cry on my shoulders as we worked on their clemencies and having to go through all the pain and agony that they went through and helping the battered women that understand what battering is and how to heal from that. But, you know, the one thing that I still have with me out here from prison, and this might sound crazy, but I have to have the mail every day. I have to go to my mailbox and get the mail every day. And angel used to say, mom, why do you have to get the mail every day? What’s the deal? With the mail, I said, because that was the one thing that I could look forward to every day at mail call was getting my letters or getting pictures or, you know, just cards. And I still have that. I can’t. I can’t break it.

Judy Henderson:
But, you know, and I miss some of the staff. Believe it or not, you know, we learned to have a mutual respect because they. I became a certified paralegal while I was there. So I was able to legally help and understand the law and the statutes and how to put a clemency together, which they don’t teach you in law school. And even students out here, I’ve been able to do roundtables with them to get them to understand how to put a clemency together for a client. But the officers, they knew I knew the policies and procedures, and if you want me to follow them, then they also knew they had to follow them. And if they told me I couldn’t do something, then I would have to point out something that they were doing that they should know they can’t do. And so they were like, mmm.

Judy Henderson:
But we ended up having a mutual respect. And to this day, I helped some of them with their invitations for weddings, for baby showers, while I was there, helping them fill out their invitations and, you know, planning. And so I was like. I would tell people I’m like an antique fixture there. And I’m still friends with a lot of them today. Yeah, we have lunch, we meet up and talk and chat, and I reach back to help those offenders that are still there. And I’m able to make communication with some of the staff concerning them, which is a real plus, you know, to have that kind of connection and that kind of assistance, to see how I can help.

Judd Shaw:
If someone is listening today and they’re feeling trapped, maybe not in a cell, but in their life, in a relationship, in a situation that feels impossible. What do you want them to know?

Judy Henderson:
I want them to know that this. You first have to recognize that you’re in a situation that is not healthy for you, that’s not good for you, that isn’t conducive to what God made you to be. And if it’s, you know, if it’s something, a situation that you don’t feel like you have the strength or the resilience or the courage to do, you have to realize. And my belief is that God has already given us everything, that we’re going to need, all the tools that we need the day we were born. Judge, I don’t have biblical verses on that, but he Made us in his image and he has all that. So I believe we have to recognize we have whatever we need at the moment that we need it to get us out of any situation that we are in. You just have to believe that you have the power, you have the courage, and you have what it takes to recognize the red signs and to do something about it. Don’t wait for others to do it.

Judy Henderson:
And there’s where there’s a will, there’s a way, and believe. Believe in the faith of a size of a mustard seed. That’s all it takes. And you have to realize, too, that God takes people in your life and he takes them out and they’re always there for a reason and for a season. And believe it or not, you know, while I was doing all this clemency stuff, I could look back now and see where God was taking politicians in. He would replace them with other politicians. Each time the group got a little bit bigger, the team got a little bit bigger, the team got a little bit wiser. And it was like he strategically placed people and he will do the same for you.

Judy Henderson:
He’s not a respecter of persons. What he gives to one, he’s going to give to another. And remember Jeremiah 29:11, I know the plans I have for you. Plans for a future, plans for you to prosper and not cause you any harm. And that’s the verse I stood on the whole time. He didn’t want me to be sad. He didn’t want me to be angry. He didn’t want me to be hurt.

Judy Henderson:
And he doesn’t want that for any of you either. And you have to build the life that you want that he gave you in the beginning. And so that would be my advice. Start working on that and believe in yourself, because he’s going to bring the people you need into your life. That’s going to be better than what you have.

Judd Shaw:
In wrapping up Judy, I was. I wanted to know that the name of this series is Buried Alive, and yet you made it out. And for those women who you’ve known for decades that are still buried, maybe by injustice, by pain, by their own battered situation, what would you want people to know about the women that you lived with for so long behind those walls?

Judy Henderson:
I want them to know we need to start looking at what put them there, what got them there, what trauma did they suffer, what produced the action that put them where they are. These are not bad people. God doesn’t make junk. And he made these people and he made us to help these people. And that’s our job. That’s what we’re supposed to do, is help those, the downtrodden, the ones that nobody else is going to want to be around. That’s what Jesus did when he was on the earth. You know, some of his disciples were the worst of the worst.

Judy Henderson:
And look at them, you know, and that’s what I loved about Governor Greitens. Here he is, the governor in this big chair to fill that everybody looks up to in our state. And he looks down on me. I feel like I was down there. And that’s how they look at convicts, is that we are the lowest of society. But he took his time and didn’t care about his political career, but he cared about the person and the injustice. And he did what he felt was right in his heart, that God wanted him to do. And he is a good Christian man, and he followed God’s leading and he did the miracle that no other governor would touch in the first year of their political career.

Judy Henderson:
So that’s why. That’s what I want people to understand. If a governor can come and get on his knees and tell you how sorry he is that the state of Missouri did this to them, we are, you know, we’re all the same. We should be able to do that and help those that can’t help themselves. Because when you’re locked up behind bars, you have very little choices of how to get assistance, how to get help, how to get people to care. And we’ve got to do. We’ve got to be the feet in the hands of Jesus and do what he would do for these people.

Judd Shaw:
It is a miracle story.

Judy Henderson:
Yes.

Judd Shaw:
How God showed up your faith, the fact with this hitman and your mother and that you were shot and made it through and just living in prison and found the way to survive and ultimately thrive through the governor who pardoned you and your book. When the light finds us, I just feel that there’s the right way to close with you is maybe through a prayer.

Judy Henderson:
Yes.

Judd Shaw:
Would you lead us through maybe just a closing prayer today?

Judy Henderson:
I would be honored to do that, to praise our God for all that that he’s able to do for us.

Judd Shaw:
Let’s do that.

Judy Henderson:
Yes.

Judd Shaw:
Take it away.

Judy Henderson:
Father, we come to you right now, right here in the name of Jesus, and we thank you for all the many blessings that you put into our lives daily, that we don’t even recognize, all the miracles that you perform yourself, that we don’t even see, and for all the guidance that you give us to lead us in the Right path. Thank you for the gifts and the blessings and for the families and the friends that you have given us and put into our life. We ask you to help those that are downtrodden, those that don’t have any way out or they don’t feel like you are present in their life. Help them to realize that it is you carrying them. It is your footsteps in the sand. And we know that this is possible because I sat here today. I have many miracles in my life because of you, God. And I could never thank you enough or do the work that you do enough to show everybody what you are about.

Judy Henderson:
And I know that’s why you molded me. I know that’s why you made me. And I thank you for that. And I praise you. And I ask you to always put a hedge of protection around your people and those that are doing the work and those that we know are going to come to you and ask us. And please, dear God, give us the strength and the courage and the resilience that you gave us at birth and show us how to use that. In Jesus holy name we pray. Amen.

Judd Shaw:
Amen. God bless our families. God bless our audience.

Judy Henderson:
Yes.

Judd Shaw:
And God bless you, Judy.

Judy Henderson:
Thank you, Jud.

Judd Shaw:
Thank you for saying that, for coming on the show.

Judy Henderson:
Oh, it’s. It’s been a pleasure. Hard, but a pleasure. You’re great.

Judd Shaw:
Thank you.

Judy Henderson:
You’re welcome.

Judd Shaw:
Coming up next, we sit down with Shannon Norman. They call her a shark in heels. And what began as a legal assignment turned into a personal mission. And she refused to let an innocent woman die behind bars. Don’t forget to subscribe to stay with us for the series Stay Blessed.