Motherhood, Wrongful Conviction & Never Giving Up Hope | Judy & Angel Henderson

Angel:
And I was told, she’s coming home. Don’t worry, she’s coming home. It’ll all be okay. I actually had called the radio station and requested. I don’t know if you remember this song. Mistakes me, but Endless love for my mom. And I said, judy Henderson. And they were like, what? You know, who’d you say? And I said, judy Henderson.

Angel:
And they said, oh. And then the next thing I heard was that she was convicted of murder.

Judy Henderson:
Ladies, thank you so much for being here with me today.

Angel:
Thank you.

Judd Shaw:
Love being here. I’m excited about it. I can’t wait to get it started.

Judy Henderson:
Judy, I want to read a section from your incredible book, when the Light Finds Us. I had to make sure my mother knew the truth. The dinghy gas station restroom door had barely closed behind us when I collapsed into my mother’s arms, sobs racking my body. Mother. I gasped between tears. There’s been a murder. The words tumbled out. Harry, the gun.

Judy Henderson:
The plan to flee to Alaska. My mother’s eyes widened in shock, her grip on my wrists tightening. I couldn’t leave without telling you, I whispered. I don’t want you to think I abandoned you all. And my children. Please tell angel and Chip how much I love them. Tears welled into my mother’s eyes as she fumbled for a tissue. I asked for a paper and pen.

Judy Henderson:
With shaking hands, I scribbled a note for my children, pressing it into her palm. Make sure they know I love them, Judy. Do you remember what that felt like at that moment?

Judd Shaw:
Yes, I do. I can feel it at this moment. It’s one of those memories I’ll never forget. It was probably one of the hardest things I ever had to do in my entire life. Probably even harder than going to prison was knowing I would leave them. And I honestly didn’t think I’d ever be back. I thought this would be my death, my end, my. But I wanted them to know how much I loved them.

Judy Henderson:
Angel, did you ever see that note that your mother wrote?

Angel:
No, I didn’t. My grandma made sure that I knew how much my mother loved me, though she always encouraged me, stood by me and would tell me, don’t give up. Don’t give up. She’ll be back.

Judy Henderson:
When your mom disappeared, unknowingly and in horror, taken to Alaska, literally as a hostage. What were you told by your grandmother when your mom never came home?

Angel:
It was so confusing. It really was. And I actually, it was a blessing in some ways, like God protected us. Because I went back to the exact same home that I’d grown up in. So I was surrounded by friends that I’d known Since I was 3 to 5 years old, you know, so it was familiar again, you know? And they really didn’t tell me what happened. I had no clue. They just said, you mom’s gone. She has to leave.

Angel:
And, you know. You know, we don’t know when she’s coming back. My dad told me, actually, he’s like, you’re gonna stay here and live here. And at first I was really angry. I was like, no, I don’t wanna live with you. I want my mom. But it wasn’t an option. And so we just, you know, we always would look around me and my best friend and be like, we knew something was different.

Angel:
So we’d be like, somebody watching us is somebody following us? You know, how teenagers, you know, big imaginations. We knew something was wrong, but we didn’t know what.

Judy Henderson:
This discussion is very personal to me as well. Years ago, I was falsely accused of something I didn’t do. I was arrested and I was jailed wrongly. The judge dismissed the charges and expunged the record from the bench, saying that you can now say that this never happened. But it did, and the damage was done. My children held it against me. They would say, mom said you were arrested. Mom said you were in jail.

Judy Henderson:
And so I wasn’t just erased on paper.

Judd Shaw:
Exactly.

Judy Henderson:
I was really erased in their eyes. And because my ex told this one side of story, that version stuck. And I now really live in that ache every day in the thread of the hope that they will one day find out the truth. And so maybe someday I’ll be sitting down with my children like you two are sitting down today.

Judd Shaw:
You know, it’s funny that you mention that, because I have a son that I seldom talk about at this moment.

Judy Henderson:
Check.

Judd Shaw:
Yes. Because he is at that stage where we haven’t connected that well. And he has a lot of anger. And before I came, I hadn’t spoken to him, nor text him since last October, I guess it was. And he wished me well. Mom, I wish we were with you. You know, I’m sorry that things have went how they are. But then last night, and I told him, I said, son, I love you.

Judd Shaw:
And I’m hoping that we can get this together and, you know, we can always start again. And then last night when I got back to the hotel, I received the most hateful, mean text from him. And so he’s still very angry. He is.

Angel:
He feels abandoned, you know, because he was an abandoned little boy. He didn’t Ask for that. He didn’t have a part of it. And then he grew up listening to like your ex wife had said things. Well, my dad, I love him and I want to honor him because I appreciate what he did for me and my brother. But at the same time he was very angry and you know, would say, she’s never coming home, you need to get over it, and things like that and hateful, mean things. And he grew up knowing that, whereas I grew up knowing who my mother really was. You know, I knew her personality.

Angel:
And he couldn’t, he can’t remember that. He told me the other day he doesn’t have any memories of her. Which made me really sad because I thought, lord, please don’t let anything ever happen to me and David because I want my grandkids to know me, you know, and to have those memories because I think that’s the biggest struggle. And then he sees our relationship, you know, and it’s strong and it’s close, but we fostered it. And that’s what I try to tell him. I put the time and the effort into it, you know, and he can too, but he’s got to heal from.

Judy Henderson:
Within, you know, Judy, and I was wondering, now that you mention that, what the difference is. I have three biological children with my ex. When this happened, one of them was a teenager and one of them was four years old. I haven’t hugged.

Judd Shaw:
What a coincidence, right?

Judy Henderson:
I haven’t hugged or kissed that four year old in five years. She’s nine now. And I was sharing last night with someone that I was thinking that this may be very well, the vision of what that future may look like for me where my teenager could give me an opportunity because she had so many years with me before our divorce and before the accusations and everything. But for my little one, Jaggie, that may look something different. Chip, up to five years old was allowed to see you.

Judd Shaw:
Yes.

Judy Henderson:
And then after five, your ex cut those visitations off for him.

Judd Shaw:
Yes.

Judy Henderson:
Until he was 16 or change and drove himself to prison to come see you.

Judd Shaw:
Correct.

Judy Henderson:
Whereas angel never let go of those visits and the contact. Do you think that’s the difference there?

Judd Shaw:
I absolutely do. Because she got to know me before I ever became incarcerated. And we were close then and she never let that go. You know, she nurtured it from afar and I nurtured it from afar. And we found our common ground to where we could continue that bond and not ever let it be severed, no matter what, what the price was. But then too, I look back and I think, you know, whenever I had her, her father wasn’t there for the delivery. He was out with other women. And so I think right at birth, we formed a special bond that she didn’t even know about, you know, until she got older.

Judd Shaw:
And we continued that bond, but it was always just her and I. And I always loved and cherished her because she was something that I knew would be kind to me and good to me.

Judy Henderson:
Yeah. You write about how your ex had disappeared for almost over. Maybe even over a week, and he was out drinking and doing that thing. And when you had your son, where angel was somewhat different in that, and Angel, I’m wondering, was there ever any moment where you questioned what you were being told about your mom? Did you ever hold it against her that she was in prison? I mean, at a young age, was there any doubt in your mind? And how did that play into the fact that there was a jury who found your. Your mother guilty wrongfully, Albeit there was some people who said this happened.

Angel:
Yeah.

Judy Henderson:
And then the people closest to you, including in your faith, said, this is not. Where were you with this dichotomy?

Angel:
It was so hard. I mean, the day I heard the news that she was convicted, I never got to go to the trial. I went to her tanning salon, actually, with a worker, you know, is where I was. And I was told, she’s coming home. Don’t worry, she’s coming home. It’ll all be okay. And I actually had called the radio station and requested. I don’t know if you remember this song.

Angel:
Mistakes Me, but Endless Love for My Mom. And I said, judy Henderson. And they were like, what? You know, who’d you say? And I said, judy Henderson. And they said, oh. And then the next thing I heard was that she was convicted of murder. And I just remember crying. And that was the point where I was like. Like I felt like I was lied to at that moment because I thought she was coming home, you know, And I just.

Angel:
I really even like, through my mom and dad’s marriage, I just wanted to be with my mom. She was my safe person. I felt like she’s always been such an encourager to me and has always stood by my side, and you can do this. And so at that time, I was devastated and thought, how am I going to do this without her? But after that, after I figured out that we’re going to have to figure out a new relationship, a new way forward. Right. I never doubted her innocence, and I started holding it closer to my heart, like I would know I had best friends that I did everything with that never knew where she was. I didn’t tell people. I just said, I’m going to go visit my mom.

Angel:
And they always thought, that’s weird. She never comes to visit you. You know, But I didn’t want them ever to think of my mom in a bad way. And so I didn’t tell anybody because I didn’t want them to judge her and think badly of her. And so until I went on a missions trip and had to expose myself in order to do the mission, and I was like, oh, if I can talk about myself, I can talk about my mom. And so then when I started sharing, it was like a breath of fresh air because people didn’t judge her like I thought they would, you know, and they embraced it and was like, how can we help you? This is wrong. So I probably, you know, holding it in my heart might not have been good, but it was a safe place for my, you know, teenage and 20s.

Judy Henderson:
Judy, so you’re in prison in Missouri. I think you were seeing your family about twice a month, and then in some incredibly cruel and added cruelty to your whole story of injustice, shipped off to Arizona. And then now you can see family twice a year. And so those visits changed.

Judd Shaw:
Yes.

Judy Henderson:
And you describe each of these visits as like a bittersweet reminder of what you lost. And you share how these phone calls, particularly with angel, that you would try to distill a lifetime of motherly wisdom into those conversations.

Judd Shaw:
Correct.

Judy Henderson:
And so now you’re sentenced to life in prison for a crime you did not commit. What are some of the rituals, the ways that helped you connect with your daughter? And what was parenting look like now for you behind those walls?

Judd Shaw:
Oh, wow. I look back and I think, how did I do that? You know, you never know what you can do until you’re put in that situation and walk through it. And it’s just a minute by minute process. I always, during my incarceration, wanted her to feel proud, you know, regardless of where I was. And it was in a bad place where I had to live. I never wanted her to worry, so I tried to protect her there and also my family. But I wanted her to know I’m getting educated, I’m doing this, I’m doing that. I’m a fitness trainer now.

Judd Shaw:
I love the dogs. And I wanted her to be proud of, even though I was defined as an inmate by society and the lowest class of society, that I was still going to reach goals, I was still going to move forward in my life. And regardless of the world I was in, you can still be successful. And so I tried to be the citizen in there that I was out on the street. And I wanted to still be that example for her, you know, continue your education. And she did. She just. She’s brilliant.

Judd Shaw:
She’s just brilliant. I can’t say anything more other than she truly is the angel that I named her. And I think when she was born, I didn’t know what I was going to name her. And I think God just came and said, angel, you don’t know, but you’re going to need an angel. And he sent me her.

Judy Henderson:
So you taught her cooking.

Judd Shaw:
Yeah.

Judy Henderson:
You had conversations over sex and relationships. You always seemed to call at the exact moment that angel needed you for you, too. Like, help me describe what did that, you know, the mothering look like. How. How did you end up mothering her in your own way when you can’t embrace physically and connect face to face?

Judd Shaw:
I think, you know, for one, I believe in visualization, evidently, because I had a vision board. But I felt like, you know, even through the phone, I could embrace her. I could use a certain tone or I could use certain words. And I wanted her to feel the warmth and know, you know, that I’m there. I’m there, even in spirit. I’m right beside you, no matter what. And whenever she would come to visit, you could only have a hug coming in and a hug going out. That was the rules.

Judd Shaw:
And so it was very hard not to just grab her and sit her on my lap. And, you know, no matter if she was 20, 30, it didn’t matter to me. But I always wanted her to feel that there was always, always that connection and that I would love her with every breath, every breath I would take. And I will do that till the day I die. You know, she’s my pride and joy. And I don’t. I don’t know that I could ever survive without her.

Judy Henderson:
What about you, Angel? What did that look like in parenting and for you?

Angel:
Well, it’s just funny how God works things out, because whenever any major thing happened, she always would call.

Judd Shaw:
Always.

Angel:
Even the things that I didn’t want to tell a parent, like, she would just call and I’d be like, I gotta tell her. This is meant to be. So I would tell her or. Or when I would struggle, even with my kid’s dad, we had an abusive relationship. And, you know, she’s the one that gave me the inspiration to get out of that relationship. And, you know, she just happened to call at the right time when I was crying and upset because of an incident. And she’s like, well, I guess you’re just. Your kids are just gonna grow up just like you.

Angel:
And I was like, what? No, they’re not. And that was it. Like, she had a way of talking to me where I think that since she wasn’t there, I actually listened, that she probably could have been right there and I wouldn’t have listened. I would have pushed back and been that rebellious teenager. But we didn’t have that relationship where I could tell her whatever it was because I knew she wasn’t going to ground me or I wasn’t going to get in trouble. And her. My dad didn’t really talk. She was safe to share my most intimate details with.

Angel:
And then she would just listen. And then the advice she gave me was really good advice, you know, and sometimes I listened, and sometimes I didn’t. But when I didn’t, I realized I should have. And so, like, that built faith and trust, you know? And so it was. I would look at people around me and they had moms there. And, you know, and sometimes my heart would sink, and I would think, I wish I could go shopping with my mom, you know, Or I would see them treat their moms bad, and I would be like, I wish I had my mom, because I wouldn’t treat her like that. But her not being there made me appreciate her and cherish our conversations.

Judy Henderson:
Yeah. It’s so interesting because being. Having parents, obviously.

Angel:
Yeah.

Judy Henderson:
And being a parent.

Judd Shaw:
Yeah.

Judy Henderson:
Sometimes there’s a lot of patience, and you just run out of that patience, or it’s short answers because life takes over, and it’s like, just because I said so, you know, and that’s not really the answer that our kids need, but sometimes that’s the best we can give. But in your circumstance, you just had time.

Angel:
Yeah.

Judd Shaw:
And I did.

Judy Henderson:
You. You. You didn’t have the. That life pressure. And in a way, you could hear your mom differently.

Judd Shaw:
Yeah.

Judy Henderson:
Because it landed differently. As opposed to how sometimes we don’t have the ability to just really be conscious about our parenting. And, you know, you probably, I imagine after a conversation, would have a night to think about it.

Judd Shaw:
Yes.

Judy Henderson:
And. And. And you couldn’t get grounded.

Judd Shaw:
Yeah.

Angel:
I can be honest. And I think that that’s funny that you say that, because I think that played such a huge part. And you could just have that raw, honest talking to your best friend relationship without the barrier that we have in our homes. Raising kids, like, it made us closer, and it was Weird when she came home, you know, because it’s like, mm, I’m supposed to be talking to you on the phone. Like, it’s weird to tell you deep personal things face to face, you know? Cause that. That’s even more vulnerable because you can say a lot more over a phone that you probably wouldn’t even say, you know, to a person to their face.

Judd Shaw:
Well, I got to tell you an incident whenever I was talking to her on the phone, and she told me some details about her life, and I just started crying. And one of our female sergeants walked by and saw me crying. And then whenever we hung up, she didn’t know who I was talking to or what was going on. So she calls me down to her office and she said, judy, are you all right? She said, I’ve never seen you upset like this. And I said, yes, yes, I’m fine. I said, I was just talking to my daughter. And we were having some, you know, serious heart to heart conversations, and it just got emotional. So, you know, I mean, it was nice to know that there was somebody in the prison system at that time that recognized that there was a sadness and a vulnerability there and was concerned about it.

Judd Shaw:
So, yeah, we did have some very good conversations.

Judy Henderson:
Following jail, I went into rehab. And I remember when I was leaving rehab, the head therapist came up to me and they said. She said, judd, if you want to find sustainable happiness, deep joy in your life, you won’t find it from things. You won’t find it from the smell of the leather from a Ferrari. You’ll find it in doing service for others. And so when I left, I moved to Newport, California, and I would start to go to Balboa Pier in Newport Pier, where there was a lot of homeless to gather. And each night I would bring them food, but a lot of people would bring them food. So I contacted the police department, and they actually had a liaison for the homeless.

Judy Henderson:
And they said, bring them socks and underwear and bring the women feminine products. And so I would go to Target or Walmart and buy all this stuff and then go hand it out. And in your book you say, that night I penned another letter to Angel. I realized a profound truth. Our deepest healing often comes through service to others. In easing the pain of fellow inmates, I found a balm for my wounds, a way to give meaning to my suffering. No, I couldn’t be there to guide angel through adolescence, but I could show her through my actions, even from afar, the power of resilience and compassion. And maybe, just maybe, that was the most Important lesson a mother could teach.

Angel:
Yes.

Judy Henderson:
I get a little emotional myself because I keep holding on to the fact that even though my children have been alienated from me and they were told things at such a young age that they shouldn’t have known.

Judd Shaw:
Correct.

Judy Henderson:
And that if I keep doing the work, if I keep showing up as the best version of myself, the best version of a dad, feeding the homeless, mentoring the downtrodden, speaking to prisons and working with other men, that maybe, just maybe, that’s the most important lesson I could show them. How true is that for you, Judy? And how important is the patch program?

Judd Shaw:
The patch program was very important. And that is very true what you just said, because it was. I wanted her to know, you know, helping others is going to be so rewarding for yourself. Not maybe monetarily, because being a social worker helping in that field is not the best pay, which it should be, because you’re helping human beings. And that’s what God created us to do, was to help each other, but to show her that I already felt. I mean, as she was growing up, she was already, you know, compassionate about certain things, about her friends. She was. She always had best friends, and they all loved her.

Judd Shaw:
And so being that having that compassion that she already. I knew that she already had. And just watching her, she nurtured it. And letting her know that even in prison, I was a prison mom also, you know, with new young lifers that would come in, I would take them under my wing or some that maybe didn’t not do that much time. They didn’t have mothers. And so I was able to mother them. And I wanted to do it in a way that I would mother my own daughter. And so that’s what I did.

Judd Shaw:
And as you know, my daughter is in that line of work to where she also helps others now and mothers and babies. And I couldn’t be more proud. And I think it started when she was young, you know, knowing. And her grandmother was always like that. She drove a Cadillac, wore dresses in high heels, and she would drive that Cadillac on railroad tracks and underneath bridges to take food and clothing to the downtrodden and the homeless. And as a matter of fact, as you know, in my book, one of her families that she did take care of ended up being a hitman that was sent to kill me years later.

Judy Henderson:
He decided not to kill you because once he knew who you were.

Judd Shaw:
Yes.

Judy Henderson:
He spared your life because your mother helped him when he was at his low point.

Judd Shaw:
Yes. And he had a picture. She had a picture of me in her salon, in her shop. And he just asked me, while he was sitting there at the table with the gun with the silencer on it, is your mother, Tessie Hines? And I said, yes. And he said, today I’m not going to kill you. And I just looked at him and he said, when my family and I came to this town, we were homeless, we had no food, we didn’t have any clothing except what was on our back. And your mother made sure that we had clothes and fed us.

Judy Henderson:
That is God’s work.

Judd Shaw:
Yes. He knew in advance what I was going to be going through, what I was going to face. And he used her as the vessel to save my life, my mother.

Angel:
Well, and it just shows you that in the small things that we do that seem small are so big to others. You know, a word of encouragement, a hot meal, warm socks to wear. You just never know, right?

Judd Shaw:
Yeah. And, yeah, you never know how that person is going to impact your life. You’re hoping you’re impacting theirs, and you’re giving them a hands up and not just leaving them stuck in that situation. You know, you want them to have a good foundation. You want them to be able to build on that and have a successful life and family and job. And so I think that’s what me and my daughter both do in different ways.

Angel:
And like the Patch program that you helped start, you know, that gave mothers and children the opportunity to have that relationship that is so hard to have behind bars, but is so important to see that your mom still loves you, you’re still important to them as from a child’s viewpoint. And then I’m sure as a mother, to know that you can still be a mother even behind bars, like, it’s not over, because that’s important. That to me, I look and I’m like, statistics say that I should have went to prison, you know, but I didn’t and I didn’t take that. I went to college. I, you know, did things on my own.

Judd Shaw:
And.

Angel:
And I think that’s because a large part, because I had my mother who was such a big encourager and a big part of my life, regardless of where she was at.

Judd Shaw:
Right. And the Patch program, it was a program that was designed to take children out of the prison setting, which in the visiting room, even though they came to visit their mothers, there were still officers around that could be intimidating and threatening because you had some that weren’t very kind and scary, too, for a little kid.

Angel:
Like, you’re looking around, the doors are slamming shut. You can’t touch your parent, you know?

Judd Shaw:
Yes. And they don’t understand that. How can you have children come to visit you and not connect with that child physically? You know, because even at a certain age, they would no longer let the children to sit on their lap, like four or five years old. And they would. It was still the hug coming in and the hug leaving. And a child needs nurturing, needs more than that with their parent. And so with the patch program, which meant parents and their children, it was in a trailer that was attached to the prison, you know, inside the fence. But the parents would go over there, the mothers would go over there, and just the mother and the child, no other family member, and they would have watched movies together.

Judd Shaw:
It was set up just like a home, and there was no officers around. It was volunteers that was in there, you know, and we would ask the mother prior to the visit, what kind of food you want to cook for your child? You know, what do you want to eat? What do they like? And so the mother has to talk to them then and find out, okay, what do you like to eat now? You know, and that’s something that parents never ask their kids whenever they’re behind walls, because you’re not going to take them out to eat or anything. So why does it matter? But it does matter. You know, you want to know every detail about the child. And so we would make sure that they had those ingredients to make that meal for them. And then they could lay on the floor and wrestle, and we had all kinds of games they could play with. We had, like, a yard set up where they could go outside and play and swings and just sit and love on them and talk with them and just laugh and have fun. And so that made a big difference.

Judd Shaw:
Prior to them getting approved for the visits, they would have to go through parenting classes because we wanted to ensure that they knew how to communicate, that they knew what their child’s love language was. And then that way they could have a good conversation. Not like, oh, have you seen so and so the drug dealer? Or have you, you know, who you beat up today? Or, you know, meaningful conversations about actually what the child was going through, you know, and understanding their emotions, you know, and their body languages. So it wasn’t just about having fun and having those visits. It was just really paying attention to.

Angel:
That child and teaching them how to be a parent.

Judd Shaw:
Right.

Angel:
You know?

Judd Shaw:
Yeah.

Judy Henderson:
Wow. The hitman. This fact that you started this patch program in prison, I just needed a deep breath.

Judd Shaw:
Oh, thank you.

Judy Henderson:
Even thinking about the fact that, yeah. To Some point, I don’t even know what Jaggie likes to eat or what her favorite color is. And.

Judd Shaw:
Right.

Judy Henderson:
You lost your mother while in prison. Speaking of her, she never saw the day you walked free. She never found out that your innocence was acknowledged by the state and the great people of Missouri and everyone around you.

Judd Shaw:
Right.

Judy Henderson:
If your mother was here with us today, what would you tell her?

Judd Shaw:
Oh, I’m sorry we didn’t get to continue making memories, but I cherish and will always carry with me in my heart all the memories we did make, all the times I would come down and get to work with you and your business and how you taught me so much and taught me how to be a great person. And I hope you’re smiling down on me now and I know you’re happy for me. And she did such a great job with Angel. Oh, my gosh. I mean, my mom was strict, but, you know, you didn’t sit on her beds, and she was pretty adamant about that. Yeah, she didn’t wear your shoes in the house. And she taught me to be that way, which I’m kind of anal about that a little bit, but I try not to be. But I know if she was here, she would just.

Judd Shaw:
She’d still be giving to the poor. She would still be doing everything that she loved to do, and she was hell on wheels.

Angel:
You know, when I think about my grandma, I think about her unwavering faith that I always thought, I want to be like that. You know, she loved her children unconditionally, no matter what, showed them the love of Jesus, encouraged them and believed in them, even when the odds looked like, oh, yeah, that’s not going to work out, you know, she did.

Judd Shaw:
But she always kept me encouraged during my incarceration and always said, judy, you’re coming home, you’re coming home. Don’t ever give up. And whenever there was offenders practicing witchcraft, there was one that wanted to put a spell on me. And I didn’t know. I wasn’t familiar with all of that because this was new when I first came in, and because the way I am here is the way I was there. I would always take care of myself. I would put makeup on every day. I would do my hair.

Judd Shaw:
Wear the best creased uniform you could get, and, you know, worked out all the time and that. They said, we just don’t do that in here. And I said, but I do that in here, and you’re just being phony. You’re fake, you know, But I did it for 36 years. So they finally figured out it really was me. And now they get out and they come. They walk in where the agency where I work and not knowing I worked there. And they walk in and they say, oh.

Judd Shaw:
Oh, my gosh, that’s Judy Henderson. Look at her. I said, told you so.

Angel:
And.

Judd Shaw:
But my mom would tell me when I was going through that spell of being fearful of what was going on with the witchcraft stuff that I wasn’t aware of or familiar with because she got a blot of tissue of my lipstick and hair and a shoe, and that’s how she was going to cast a spell. So my mother said, judy, from now on, you open your Bible because the enemy hates the word of God, and it will keep those away from you that should not be there and those spirits. And sure enough, I did. And, well, the spell didn’t work, evidently.

Judy Henderson:
You know, I’m thinking a lot about my kids right now and the fact that they only know one version of a story and what it would be like for them to know the whole story. And, you know, angel, you recently read your. Your mother’s book, when the Light Finds Us. And the book Congratulations was released yesterday.

Judd Shaw:
Thank you.

Judy Henderson:
And when you read that book, I’m wondering, what was that like for you? What was the hardest parts for you? You just now know the whole story.

Judd Shaw:
Yeah.

Judy Henderson:
Tell me about that experience.

Angel:
So I didn’t think I was going to read it. In fact, when she started writing it, I told her I couldn’t. I was like, there’s. It’s just too hard. You know, why would I want to read the worst day of my life, you know, or the worst times of my life? And then as the book release approached, I thought somebody told me that I needed to know where I stood and what I was going to do. And I needed to have a plan, and I needed to let her know that. So we were on the same page of expectations and that I probably should do the hard thing and read it. And I know that God doesn’t.

Angel:
I always say, like, God doesn’t take us to the easy things. He takes us to the hard things because we can do it with him. And so I was like, okay. And one day, just a week ago, I called her and said, all right, I’m going to read your book. And she was like, what? Okay. When I was like, I’m going to come get it tonight after work. And when I sat down, like, we make this thing in our heads that it’s going to be so much worse than what it is. And it is so much worse than what, what it is.

Angel:
And the enemy gets in there and he starts adding, yeah, it’s gonna, you know, there’s gonna be things that you don’t agree with and this and that. And I believed all those lies. And when I sat down, I took a notepad and a pen and I thought, I’m gonna write down everything I don’t agree with and then I’m gonna talk to her about it, you know, so we can get it lined out before, you know, her book launch. And I sat there, I have a notebook full of things that inspired me, that I learned about my family, that made me love my mother even more than what I do now. And it was hard. It wasn’t easy. You know, like, she describes my grandma, and my grandma and I were really close and I was like, oh, I could just, you know, I could just picture her right there. And it was such a different perspective because I read all the time and I was like, I know the characters, I know them intimately, you know, and.

Angel:
And then the things that I didn’t agree with necessarily, I realized why she felt the way she felt, why she saw things differently than I did, that it was a different perspective. I’m coming from a 13 year old, she’s coming from, you know, a mom, a wife, a grown woman, you know, and it just all made sense to me. And I thought, I know the next day I was going to work and I’m crying and I thought, you know, God, what a gift you’ve given me, you know, and my family, that I have this, that I know my mom intimately, more so than I. I thought I did before, and now I know it. And that’s I shared with my brother. I’m like, I know that you might not be ready right now, and I understand that. But I think that when you do read it, you’ll find healing because it makes sense, you know, it makes sense after all the incredible things that she’s had to endure. And of course, that next day I was like, and if anybody messes with you, they’re going to have to come through me.

Angel:
Because you’ve lived through enough, you know, like, you deserve love and happiness and joy, you know, And I knew hard parts, but just, you know. And how do you sum up your life in 250 pages? But she did a wonderful job at giving us a glimpse of what life is like before, during, and after.

Judy Henderson:
You never gave up that identity, though, as a mother, right?

Judd Shaw:
No.

Judy Henderson:
We’re gonna get you back in the studio. We’re gonna talk about the murder and how you ended up in prison and all of the wild stories that not only led you there, but kept you there, the experiences there. But this. This is about alienation. This is about how not only parents and sometimes grandparents or people can alienate our children from us. Sometimes walls and razor wire can do that through situations. And it gives me hope someday that I won’t be erased as a father. And I’m wondering where you found that courage, right when so many people saw you as a criminal, a number, a murderer, but you kept seeing yourself as a mother.

Judy Henderson:
How did you hold on to that identity?

Judd Shaw:
Because I knew the truth. And I was going to fight for the truth to be known. And I had a strong mother that defined motherhood for me. And I wanted to be just like her. You know, I wanted her. I wanted to have that unconditional love that she had. And I was able to do that because of the deep love that I had for my children. And you don’t.

Judd Shaw:
For me, that was not something I was going to give up. No matter what, no matter what the situation was, how dark it might look. I refused to allow that situation to deter me from being what I was created to be. And that was her mother and my son’s mother. And even though I do not have that relationship with him yet. Yet, yes. I think it will come eventually. And I just have to be patient.

Judd Shaw:
And just like you being a father, you’re not giving up your fatherhood. You know, there’s just space between the things that you will know about them. But you will grow into that, and they will grow into that, and they will want to know. And writing a book about what your life has been about, about what your situation was, is something that would give them a glimpse into where you were. Because I think our kids know my mom’s not perfect. You know, Angel, I made mistakes. I was willing to be vulnerable and.

Angel:
Say I still do. I try to tell you you need to read page 130, whatever of your book.

Judd Shaw:
And because I think that parents think, you know, I think kids think that parents think that they’re perfect, you know, and we aren’t. And we need to let our kids know. Hey, you know what? I’m sorry. I made a mistake, and I’m here. I’m open for you to ask me anything you want to ask me. I don’t care what it is. And, you know, have that kind of depth and foundation with them instead of being, like, superficial. And I’m the parent, you know, I have all the authority you have no say.

Judd Shaw:
Yes, they do. They’re human beings and they’re little adults right now. But help them get to know who you really are.

Judy Henderson:
You remind me that parenting doesn’t end with a courtroom ruling. It doesn’t end behind a prison wall. And it doesn’t even end with the absence of your own child’s voice. Right. It lives in the faith that someday the light finds us and our truth will speak louder than those lies. You literally manifested your freedom. Right. So, yes, I read that 24 years into your sentence.

Judy Henderson:
You’re watching Oprah on the TV in the prison, and she was talking about a book called the Secret. Right. Which fascinated you. And you heard about a vision board.

Judd Shaw:
Yes.

Judy Henderson:
And so which is this collage of your dreams?

Judd Shaw:
Yes.

Judy Henderson:
And. And you made one the next day. Right. And you write on the top of it, freedom from prison, home with family, sentence overturned and pardoned. And you wrote in your book that night in your cell, in the darkness, you ran your fingers over the photos you placed on that board, writing them to become reality. I’m coming home, I whispered to Angel’s and Chip’s smiling faces. I promise.

Judd Shaw:
Yes.

Judy Henderson:
Do you think there is always a moment like the one you’re having for the two of you now? Do you believe that’s possible for a parent like me? That us parents who have maybe have lost our children in various ways, we can manifest that back?

Judd Shaw:
Yes. You just have to believe it. I believe. And God proved it in the very beginning, in Genesis, he spoke the words and there was light. He said, let there be light, and there was light. And so that right there, that in the very beginning of what was written should tell everybody, should tell the world. Your words have power. You create what you want your life to be, because that creation and that acknowledgement of it is going to manifest that power that you need, that God already gave you from the beginning of your birth.

Judd Shaw:
He gave us everything we would ever need for the entire time of our living here on this earth and whatever situation we’d have to face so we don’t have to keep praying for more strength. Because then if you do, just going to give you more trials or allow you to go through more trials. Thank you, my stepfather, for telling me that while I was incarcerated, I learned it and I believe it and I stand on it. So, yes, I don’t think it’s ever too late to manifest what kind of a relationship you want with your children. Say it. Believe it. Write it down. Look at their pictures.

Judd Shaw:
Tell them. Because whenever God said, let there Be light. There was light. Whenever he spoke, he manifested miracles so he didn’t have to lay hands on anybody. He already had the power. And he gave us the same powers that he has. And we just have to believe we have those gifts. So use them, people.

Judd Shaw:
Don’t let them sit there and rust.

Judy Henderson:
In my. In my office, I have a picture that I drew. Stick figures. Me holding the hands of my children and their sizes and their names below it. And it just says, I love you, Daddy. And I never thought about, just like, until this very moment, that that drawing is my manifestation, vision board of that moment.

Judd Shaw:
Yes, absolutely. It is. Now make it come to pass.

Judy Henderson:
Angel. There is a Jewish ceremony cemetery in St. Louis that had been vandalized.

Angel:
Yes.

Judy Henderson:
And you say in the book that you knew you had to go there.

Angel:
Yeah.

Judy Henderson:
And where you were living, you drove four and a half hours to be there. And the governor of Missouri had organized. He was Jewish. And so the whole state took this very personally, particularly him.

Judd Shaw:
Yeah.

Judy Henderson:
And so he organized this cleanup of this hate crime. And. But that wasn’t quite your intent to go there. And when you. When you went there, Judy, you write about this moment where the governor of Missouri is there. Even the vice President of the United States shows up. Right. And so there’s this.

Judy Henderson:
Just this wall of Secret Service.

Angel:
Yeah.

Judy Henderson:
And police and. And suits with earpieces surrounding these guys. And in your unstoppable way, you push through this wall and you say to the governor, you have to help my mom.

Judd Shaw:
Yeah.

Judy Henderson:
She was committed of a crime. She was convicted of a murder she didn’t commit.

Judd Shaw:
Yeah.

Judy Henderson:
And her. Her clemency was on your desk.

Angel:
Yeah.

Judy Henderson:
And you have to look at it. And you described this governor that you felt that he. He listened, he. He heard you to understand you. And. And your mother was quite overwhelmed with the enormity of. When you told her about that on the phone. Like, wow, what was it when you see this moment?

Judd Shaw:
Yeah.

Judy Henderson:
And you say that there’s. You just like a calling to go there.

Judd Shaw:
Yeah.

Judy Henderson:
What was that?

Angel:
You know, I had tried to see governors so many times and went to different things because she needed to come home. And that morning I was supposed to go to Jeff’s city where he was, you know, normally. And then it was just strange because I got an email that I never received an email from the governor’s office. And I opened up my email before I went to go ahead to Jeff city and. And saw that, oh, no, this terrible crime had happened, and they were going to the Jewish cemetery. And so I Was like, no, I have to go there. I have to go there and see him. And so I told my boss at the time, I was like, I’m sorry, but I can’t go to Jeff City.

Angel:
I have to go to the cemetery. And he’s like, yes, you do. Because my intent was, when I went there, I was going to stop by the governor’s office. I figured I probably wouldn’t be able to see him because usually they stop you and you talk to somebody else. But I was like, this is my chance. Like, he’s going to be out in the open, like, he can’t avoid me, you know, and. But when I got there, there was so many people, because the vice president was there, that I was like, well, God, I thought that I was going to be able to finally break through. And I was like, but you know what? I’m here.

Angel:
I’ll just pull up my sleeves and go to work. I met some people, and we cleaned up the cemetery. And I was like, I guess this was what I was meant to do. And then I turn around and see this big group of people, and I’m like, what’s going on there? Well, the vice president had left, and he had went back out to thank everybody himself. And I was like, huh? I’m going to go talk to him now. Thank you, Jesus. I was just meant to help do my part. And then he opened the door for me to have that blessing, to be able to speak to Governor Greitens.

Angel:
But I walked up and there he was, just surrounded. And I thought, okay, here I go. And I would take a step and there would be a parting, and I’d take another step and there’d be a parting. And I mean, it was like that all the way. I didn’t have to push. I didn’t have to even say, excuse me. It was just like. It just opened up.

Angel:
And the next thing I know, I was standing right there, and I reached out and shook his hand and started talking to him, and somebody else started to interrupt, and he said, wait a minute. And he looked me straight in the eye and just we had this conversation in this moment that I knew in my heart. And I was like, this might sound crazy, but I know that he heard me, like, for the first time and 35 years at that time, like, I was heard, and I felt like he received it and was going to actually do something about it. And that was probably my moment of most hope that I was like, no, this is happening. This is real.

Judy Henderson:
It was like the sea parted.

Angel:
Yes, that’s what it was. It was so crazy because I just walked right through and was like, all right. And then he just received it so well. And he was so intent to look in my eyes to hear what I had to say. And he says that. Yep. He remembers that. You know, did you take a picture?

Judd Shaw:
Didn’t you guys?

Angel:
Yeah, we took a picture. Because he. I think he’s told me, you want a picture? And I was like, yeah, sure.

Judy Henderson:
Yeah. And sure enough. December 20, 2017.

Angel:
Yeah.

Judy Henderson:
Slowly, as if your vision board comes true.

Judd Shaw:
Yes.

Judy Henderson:
They are standing before you in prison is the governor of Missouri.

Judd Shaw:
Yes.

Judy Henderson:
Who says to you.

Judd Shaw:
I get chills.

Judy Henderson:
Me, too.

Judd Shaw:
Yeah.

Judy Henderson:
On the great state of Missouri and the people of Missouri, we owe you an apology.

Judd Shaw:
Yes.

Judy Henderson:
And this is something that should have been corrected many, many years ago.

Judd Shaw:
Yes.

Judy Henderson:
So after 13,149 days, over 315,000 hours in prison, your freedom was an immediate reality.

Judd Shaw:
Yes.

Judy Henderson:
He gets out of the way. Right. And as if on cue, here comes Angel.

Judd Shaw:
Yes.

Judy Henderson:
And your other family to greet you, including your children.

Angel:
Yeah.

Judy Henderson:
Can you describe that feeling?

Judd Shaw:
Oh, my gosh. I think we just fell into each other’s arms, didn’t we?

Angel:
Yeah.

Judd Shaw:
And started crying and was crying and laughing and crying. I mean, it was crazy. I mean, who laughs and cries at the same time?

Angel:
You know, there’s a little funny story before that happened.

Judd Shaw:
Oh, my gosh.

Angel:
I knew what you’re going to say, what was coming on, what was going to happen the next day. But the governor’s office, you know, said, can you keep a secret? Will you please not say anything? And I said, oh, absolutely. There’s still people to this day that are mad at me because I didn’t tell them.

Judd Shaw:
And I was like, I lost friends because of it.

Angel:
I was like, I’m sorry, but when he says to keep a secret, I’m keeping a secret.

Judy Henderson:
Including Shannon, the attorney. She was notified the day before as well. You gotta keep this a secret.

Judd Shaw:
Yeah.

Angel:
And so we. So she called and I said something like, well, you know, we always hope at that time, at Christmas time that she’s gonna come home. You know, every Christmas is like that for people that have loved ones incarcerated and have a clemency. But I was like. She said she wasn’t gonna get ready the next day. And I said, oh, I think you probably should.

Judd Shaw:
Should.

Angel:
Like, why wouldn’t you get ready? Like, you never know, Mom. And she’s like, no, they’re not going to do it. It’s a Tuesday. They’re not going to do it on a Tuesday.

Judd Shaw:
Well, I was a fitness trainer, so I had classes to teach. And, you know, and I thought, well, I’m going to get ready to teach classes and go to the gym.

Angel:
Tell her. And she didn’t listen.

Judd Shaw:
And she asked me, she said, I remember her saying, But I didn’t tell her yes. She said, oh, by the way, mom, do you still have that waterproof mascara that you said you were saving for when you get released? I said, well, yeah. And she said, well, listen, I gotta go. And I thought, well, that was short.

Angel:
Yeah. I couldn’t talk to her because I was like, oh, this is too hard. This is way too hard.

Judd Shaw:
And she hung up. And I thought that was an odd conversation. And then I called Shannon to see if she had heard anything.

Angel:
An attorney.

Judd Shaw:
And Shannon is a talker. You know, she’s an attorney. She’s a talker. And I mean, you know, my mother was a talker, so of course I’m a talker. So our conversations were never short. And so I’m talking to her. She said, you know what, Judy? She said, I looked at my clock. She said, I gotta go.

Judd Shaw:
I’ve got a meeting I have to go to. And it’s like, this is really. We can talk to her. Nobody wants to talk to me tonight. Okay, that’s fine. I don’t. I don’t want to talk to anybody either. So I just went to my cell and got ready for bed that night and got up the next morning and went to the gym.

Angel:
And little did you know your life.

Judd Shaw:
Was about to change. I had no idea. And of course, whenever I do certain, you know, fitness classes, I don’t wear a lot of makeup because we’re sweating a lot. We’re doing heavy, heavy aerobics or Zumba or something. And so then I had to go to the clinic. And over at the clinic, I had to get a mammogram. And the officer come in there and told me, judy, you know, you’ve got to go to the visiting room. And I said, no, I don’t.

Judd Shaw:
I don’t have a visit today. They said, you, attorney’s here. I said, no, they’re not. You have the wrong Henderson. I’m not going. And because she knew not to come without letting me know because I do hair, I do makeup and all that. I’m not going to visit her.

Angel:
She wouldn’t come out and visit you if she wasn’t. Didn’t have hair, makeup on, which I get it, I would do.

Judd Shaw:
Yeah, so that was an issue.

Angel:
There and she got to meet the governor. Natural.

Judd Shaw:
Yeah. And so they were gonna put me in the hole if I didn’t go. And I said, I’m going. I’m going. Am I there yet? So, yeah, that was kind of strange.

Angel:
It was so amazing. That moment was the most shocking, amazing moment. And he was so genuine, too. Like, he came and he went to every single person that we brought with us, every family member, and apologized for the injustice that we had to live through, you know, and what a great man.

Judd Shaw:
Yeah, he was. And I hope that you will meet him.

Angel:
Yeah, he was a great man.

Judd Shaw:
And I told him one of my concerns was I didn’t want the media there because I’d never done anything with the media during my incarceration. And he said, judy, he said, you know, this is not about me. It’s not about what I’m doing for you. He said, it’s about you and your family today. And I already told everybody, no press.

Judy Henderson:
In fact, I think he said, let me get out of the way.

Angel:
Yes, he did.

Judy Henderson:
And I’ve done enough talking. There’s some other people who need to hear.

Judd Shaw:
Yes, yes.

Angel:
That gives me chills every. Whenever I hear that, because it was such a tender moment, you know, it’s like something that you pray for for 36 years. And then all of a sudden, here it is, like, you’re standing there and, like, get to walk out with my mom for the first time, you know, And.

Judd Shaw:
Well, it was hard for me to believe whenever he said, today and he read the papers to me, Immediate release. Immediate release. I said, what? Can you say that again?

Angel:
You mean, like, right now?

Judd Shaw:
Yeah, I said, you mean right now? And he said, right now you are leaving. And I just gasp, you know? And then the warden came in, and we arranged for me to go back to the yard and say goodbye to everybody. And it was like, oh, my Gosh, there was 1600 women there, and they were all on the yard, all the staff, all the, you know, officers.

Angel:
And didn’t they tell you, like, we’re going to keep this low key? And then when she walked out, everybody was cheering, and she’s like, all right, plan B. Yeah.

Judd Shaw:
They said, can you walk down here to the yard and be very nonchalant because we want to keep this quiet? And I said, sure, sure. So we get halfway down and everybody’s screaming and hollering. I looked at each of them and I said, okay, that’s not going to work. What’s plan B? They said, let’s just go for it out.

Judy Henderson:
Walk not one governor, but two.

Angel:
Right. In prison.

Judd Shaw:
Right.

Judy Henderson:
You know, and there’s just so many great stories about how cute, really tender moments with your own granddaughter, how, you know, you went to go use the phone once and now you’re using a cell phone and how much life has changed. Right. And you’re like, where are the dials? Or no dials. And she’s like, no, grandma. You just have to tap the screen.

Judd Shaw:
Yeah.

Judy Henderson:
You know, and. But angel, you got into a relationship that was abusive.

Judd Shaw:
Yes.

Judy Henderson:
Your first husband, Angel’s dad, was abusive.

Judd Shaw:
Correct.

Judy Henderson:
Your father was abusive. And you talk about how you redrew your family map, that each interaction at home was a creation of new boundaries and a new balance. And that you often found this. That there was this, in fact, in a time in prison therapy. Right. You write that you mapped out the cycle that you had been stuck in. Quote, tension, explosion, honeymoon phase, repeat. I’m wondering for the both of you.

Judy Henderson:
We often hear so much about generational trauma, and it’s incredible that you literally ended up in your mother’s relationship.

Judd Shaw:
Right.

Judy Henderson:
And that you ended up in your mother’s and your grandmother’s relationship, but that now the cycle breaks.

Angel:
That’s it.

Judy Henderson:
Your daughter will not be in that relationship. What does it take to break the cycle?

Judd Shaw:
Oh, I think it just takes strength, determination, and a strong spiritual foundation for you to understand and know what the cycle is, what it even means. Because a lot of battered women don’t even know they’re in a cycle. They’re rewired. And that wiring is just what they’re conditioned to know, to believe, because they’ve been in it for so long, and so is their mother, their grandmothers. And it takes termination and wanting a change.

Angel:
I think for me, personally, like the phone call that I got, I received when me and my kid’s father had an incident, and I was crying, he was gone. My kids are crying, and my mom calls and says, well, I guess your kids are just going to grow up the same as you did. That was like, no, it stops here. And as hard as it’s going to be, I’ve got to do this. Not because I hated him. And I had to understand that when we weren’t good together, he’s good with somebody else and he’s a good person, but we were bad together. And that I could go on and he could still be the father of my children because now he wasn’t abusive to my children at all and stuff. But I didn’t have to be in abusive relationships like my parents, like My grandparents, like.

Angel:
And I wasn’t going to let my kids go through that because that was a horrible way to live. You know, it was scary. It was, for lack of better words, just so traumatic that I thought, no way. Why would I do that to them when I have the power to change that? You know, it’s going to be hard, but I can do it. I don’t have a mom. My dad didn’t talk to me. You know, my, you know, their dad wasn’t going to help and stuff, but I was like, but you know what? I got through my mom going to prison and survive that, like, can survive anything.

Judy Henderson:
It takes someone strong enough to say, no more.

Angel:
No more.

Judy Henderson:
Not me, not my daughter, and not our generations any longer. You know, you, Judy, had stuck in that marriage, one which was a forced marriage almost essentially, right? And the fact that you were looking even there was a moment you were pushed down the stairs pregnant with angel, where you described protecting your tummy and having chip, thinking, maybe if I have another child, things will change as we often do, right? Maybe the love will be there. Or. Or, oh, there’s a moment of tenderness and love. And let me see if I can explore that any further. And you saying, no more. Not again. Not in our life generations any further.

Judy Henderson:
Judy, if you could speak to a parent right now who is separated from their child or children not by their parents own choice, but by systems or injustice. And if they’re alienated like mine are and they’re growing up angry and upset and they don’t quite want to welcome us back yet, you’re experiencing still with your son differently than you have with Angel.

Judd Shaw:
Correct.

Judy Henderson:
And I think it’s so true for so many of us parents who have gone through divorces and difficult relationships and breakups that involve kids, right? What do you say to me and us parents to hold on to that hope that they will finally find us.

Judd Shaw:
And they will finally find you, you just have to be patient, let them grow into who they are and always let them know in some fashion that you love them, you’re always going to be here for them, no matter what. Whatever type of communication you may be able to extend to them in whatever fashion, if it’s through your other child that you are connected with that. And I wish I would have done that better. That’s where I think I failed. During my incarceration with my son, it was hard to buck up against my ex husband because he had all the power. I had no control other than sending letters, which I did do. And angel would Try to communicate some of those to my son. But if you’re out here in this world and you have that opportunity to do little things that, I mean, you know, if they have school activities or something that I don’t know if you can pop into or go to some form of just letting them know that you love them unconditionally, no matter what they’ve done, what they do in the future, what they are doing right now, it’s okay.

Judd Shaw:
Because you’re not perfect either.

Judy Henderson:
Well, you know, there was a couple few things I do on my end, such as talking about it.

Judd Shaw:
Yes, yes, that’s good.

Judy Henderson:
Sharing the pain, but also the love that I have for them and have never lost. Yes, I journal about it and I write them letters. Every birthday I buy a cupcake or whatever I knew their last favorite food was. Yes, I’ll make a video and I’ll sing happy birthday to them so that one day, not only my words, I can show them. Yes, I never stopped loving you.

Judd Shaw:
Yes, yes, yes.

Angel:
That’s.

Judd Shaw:
Never give up.

Angel:
Like, you know, just never give up hope. Because, you know, 36 years we didn’t give up hope, you know.

Judy Henderson:
Well, that’s what I wonder for you. On the other side of it, what do you tell a child or even adult children who are listening right now and wondering, is it worth holding on to the hope to connect with my parent again?

Judd Shaw:
It is.

Angel:
It really is. I can’t imagine my life without my mother. So for me, it was an easy thing to decide to do. But for those that it’s not so easy, maybe their parents have made some bad decisions that and are continuing to. First of all, I say pray. Pray for them. Pray that God shines his light of truth in their heart so that they can open their eyes and receive his wisdom and his guidance to help get them to become the person that God created them to be. And then to pray and ask God to help them to find a way to build that bridge and that relationship.

Angel:
Relationships are hard no matter what or who it is. You know, like, it takes work and it takes effort and sometimes life is messy. But the more you, you put out, the more work you do on yourself. You can only control what you can control and do that and then pray and give the rest to God and let God work it out because he’s a faithful God and he will do might not be in our timing. It usually never is actually in our timing or even in the way that we think it will, but it’s always better and it does come around. It will work out, you know, and there will be restoration.

Judy Henderson:
As we wrap up this sacred conversation that we’ve had and that I feel so blessed and honored to host. The first conversation, right. The two of you are having about this book and that you manifested this moment. Right? Your freedom, the clemency being with your family, the release of a book, your story. This is your first time in New York City.

Judd Shaw:
Yes.

Judy Henderson:
And finally the world hearing your voice.

Judd Shaw:
And.

Judy Henderson:
But there wasn’t. That wasn’t the only thing on that vision board. There was something else. Right. And there was a beach with white sand. There was a glass bottom boat.

Judd Shaw:
Yes.

Judy Henderson:
There was that turquoise water calling your name.

Judd Shaw:
Correct.

Judy Henderson:
And you didn’t just manifest freedom. You literally manifested so much. That in honor of your story and your resilience and for the moment that you allowed me to share with you and to the world, you and angel are going to Anguilla. I’ll be covering a four night, five day stay for the two of you. You’ll fly from Missouri to St. Martin where you’ll be taking a short 20 minute boat to the island of Anguilla. You’ll be staying at the Aurora Aguila Resort. And yes, there will be a glass bottom boat tour.

Angel:
Oh, my God.

Judy Henderson:
You’ll see sea turtles and coral reefs. No way. Oh, yes way. And. And everything you’ve dreamed of. Because after 36 years of being separated, I think you deserve the time together. And you’ve given the world so much light that I think it’s time for you to soak some of it in. And.

Judy Henderson:
And I’ll be sending the both of you to Anguilla.

Judd Shaw:
Oh, my gosh. How can we ever thank you?

Angel:
Oh, my goodness.

Judy Henderson:
You’ve already done that. Thank you so much for coming on the show.

Angel:
You’re such a kind person.

Judd Shaw:
Oh, my gosh. And this is the first duo we have done together. And I’m so glad, evidently, that it was with you.

Angel:
No, thank you so much.

Judd Shaw:
Oh, my gosh. Yes. That is, oh, a big, A big, huge blessing. Oh, my gosh. I’m just like you. I don’t know what to say.

Judy Henderson:
Congratulations on your book when the Light Finds Us. Congratulations on your freedom. And, and God bless you both.

Judd Shaw:
Oh, thank you. God bless you. And never give up. Right? We want pictures of you and your children together.

Angel:
Yeah, you got it.

Judd Shaw:
Yeah. Thank you so much for coming.

Angel:
Thank you.

Judd Shaw:
Thank you.

Judy Henderson:
Coming up, this season finale, I’ll share my deepest takeaways from Judy’s journey. What it teaches about injustice, resilience, and the power of Never losing faith. Don’t forget to subscribe to stay with us for this series. Stay blessed.