Inside Rehab: What Healing Looks Like Behind The Doors | Stephen Van Hooser

Stephen Van Hooser 00:00 

My favorite metaphors about addiction is it’s like trying to fill a hole in your front yard by digging other holes in your front yard to get the dirt. So I absolutely agree that treating trauma or treating whatever the underlying mental health situation is, is the answer, because I also believe that drug addiction is a symptom rather than a problem.  

 

Judd Shaw 00:36 

Steven, thanks for being here with me today. Yeah, thanks for having me. I appreciate it. Me too.  So it was June 20 and I was in New Jersey, crawled in a fetal position on my garage floor. At that point, I didn’t even know where to turn. And a friend of mine who answered the phone on the brink of either suicide or making that call, I called my friend Adam and thank God he picked up. And I shared with him that I was struggling and I was completely vulnerable with what was going on. And he’s like, we need to get you help, man. And I’m like, where? He’s just started Googling for me. He literally was taking over as a guardian and helping me find a place. And it started with maybe it would be New Jersey. Where’s the best place for you to treat? Where’s your insurance accepted? Where, what kind of place, you know? And a real thing for me was it was still running an organization that I couldn’t get disconnected from. The biggest fear was that if I do that, then the company would go under. So it almost kept me using longer because of that fear. And so when Adam said, I found this place in California where you can heal in dignity and compassion, helped book the flight for me.  And there I was on my way to Huntington Beach where I stayed for one night until somebody from your organization came in a van and picked me up. And I handed up a meth pipe to him and he threw it out and said, you won’t be needing that anymore. And off we went to a rehab center where thankfully I was allowed to keep my phone. And I saw a new person there sitting with his wife who was gonna take some time before she was going to leave. And he was now going to be impatient. I’ve heard it say that the opposite of addiction is connection. And I did find that when you go into these centers, they can be more shame inducing. They can be more disconnecting. Oftentimes those relationships are already strained with families and friends. And so all of these delicate things to me, in my own experience, could mean that there’s a facility that helps offer connection. And then there’s facilities where you go in and you lose your devices or there are detox on these things as well and you lose your connection. And so what I’m wondering is what is the model, the approach that your organization has so that when I came in that door, I felt part of a community and I did not feel alone. And I thank you for that, by the way. Yeah.  

 

Stephen Van Hooser 04:00 

I’m really happy that you reached out for help. It’s usually the hardest part of the whole equation.  I think that that’s why people stay in the situations that they’re in so often is because they don’t reach out for help. They don’t have an atom to call. But in terms of the model that we use, and I think that most helpful organizations like ours, it’s called the biopsychosocial model. So it’s incorporating everything from your family history to your social context to the underlying psychology of what creates addiction in the first place. And so all good treatment is individualized treatment. So for you, connection meant staying in touch with a business that you had to run. And for the gentleman that was there, staying connected to his wife. And so I think that there are always going to be differences in what that connection looks like. And in some cases, I mean, we allow cell phones and laptops specifically for the reason so people can work because so many people don’t. I mean, so many people don’t have the luxury of 30 days or 60 days to put their life on pause to go actually get the help that they need. But in some cases, there are certainly people where that cell phone or that laptop is the least healthy thing for them. They’re gonna use that to stay connected to a context that is a terrible influence for them. And so determining what’s best for the individual is it has to be what treatment is based on.  

 

Judd Shaw 06:09 

is the model that you refer to, do they focus on connection in recovery? Because my experience, whether they were group activities, everybody were going on a, you know, going down to the beach, and we have a few hours to play on the beach, and we stay in a certain area.  And, you know, it’s regulated appropriately. But also there are these times where there’s a movie night in the living room, and people come down or pizza night, you know, or I was there for July 4. And so, you know, they had a July 4, you know, sobriety, barbecue. And, and so I wonder how much of that is, is focused on the connection part. Because that recovery, particularly the days when I went in my room and close that door, are very lonely.  

 

Stephen Van Hooser 07:12 

Right, yep, they can. And addiction, substance abuse in general is such an isolating affliction. Are you talking about being curled up completely alone on your garage floor? And I think there’s a version of that prior to most people getting help because it is so isolated because we don’t by and large know how to talk about it with the people that we love.  I mean, and so the model that we use again, the biopsychosocial model, I think is predicated on the belief that there is the connection somewhere, that connection is missing somewhere. And whether that connection is a spiritual one and you can develop and cultivate that connection standing on the beach by yourself, if your connection’s with nature and that has gone out the window while you’re in your addiction or if your connection is with family, certainly substance abuse, it costs all of us all of those connections ultimately. And so, yes, I do believe that good individualized treatment is based on reforming those connections. And again, I think that those connections are very specific because recovery is so personal that the connections that are important to all of us look completely different from one person to the next.  

 

Judd Shaw 08:35 

Yeah, I know that from my good friend Rich S. that I formed in the rooms there and still dear friend today, his connections were his daughters, you know, and it was not his spouse. And so to your point, yeah, that makes a lot of sense.  But I was wondering that you were talking about addiction and there’s this growing belief that addiction is rooted in disconnection. So I think Gabor Matei says it’s not the question is not why the addiction, but why the pain. In his research, he associated the fact that nearly all of addiction cases were rooted in trauma, particularly childhood trauma. And I think that when I was growing up and I had gone to rehab at Hanley Hazleton as early in the 1990s, when I was in my 20s, they were treating it like a biological disorder and treating it, really attacking it with pharmaceuticals and really different types of therapies. But then when I came out of my experience of chapters, I went to go see a therapist for EMDR, EMDR therapy. And she said to me, Judd, you don’t have a drug addiction. You’re using drugs to cope, to deal with the trauma. If we can treat the trauma, we treat the addiction. And that was like the first time I heard this said that way, where I almost didn’t think or feel as a drug addict as much as more of a wounded man who needed to heal those reasons that caused the scars to begin with. And so I wonder what are your thoughts on this nature versus nurture with your centers and how do you approach that?  

 

Stephen Van Hooser 11:05 

Yeah, the debate has been going on for forever, I feel like, and it’s one that people have a very visceral response to. And I think a lot of that is, it can be rooted in the fact that when people say that addiction is a disease, some people hear that it’s a disease so you don’t have any responsibility. So when I answer this question, I would like to just preface it by saying, under no circumstances, because I do believe that addiction is a disease, but I also absolutely believe that people are, and should be responsible and accountable for their choices and their behaviors.  So it was classified as a disease back in the 80s. And at that time technology and medical advances didn’t afford a very close look at what it was doing biologically. And mental health was not part of the conversation back in the late 80s, certainly. We were all still in the Reagan bootstrap mentality that whatever we were into, we were gonna pull ourselves out of. But there’s the more that we learn about addiction, whether it’s through brain imaging or whatever the studies and research are, they’re what makes the most sense to me and kind of what goes hand in hand with the biopsychosocial model of treatment. It’s called the diathesis stress model of disease. And it says that we have a biological set point and that that set point is different for everybody. And then when you add the stressors of a situation or life on top of that, that’s what ultimately leads to the initiation of the disease, right? So I think about it in terms of type two diabetes. So I have a long history of diabetes on my family. In my family history, I have that predisposition. And so that’s the biological part of the equation. And then you’re looking at the social part of the equation, which is, I always had sugary cereal around when I was a kid and candy in the house and all of those things. And maybe I formed some sort of psychological bond with having a bowl of sugary cereal with my dad, right? So it’s, but at some point I crossed the line between what was just a way of life to what became essentially type two diabetes, right? I’m not trying to equate diabetes with drug addiction. I’m just saying that there are these processes. So I think in the nature versus nurture argument, nature plays a part, but not to the extent of excusing nurture completely. I think that one of my favorite metaphors about addiction is that it’s like trying to fill a hole in your front yard by digging other holes in your front yard to get the dirt. And so I absolutely agree that treating trauma or treating whatever the underlying mental health situation is, is the answer because I also believe that drug addiction is a symptom rather than a problem. And so treating the underlying reason, whatever that reason is, is always going to be the best approach.  

 

Judd Shaw 14:54 

You are also in recovery yourself. I am.  A man who’s also been through drug rehabilitation. In your own experience of being both a patient client and now in your position running a drug, you know, substance abuse facility or facilities, what does innovation in the world of substance abuse look like? Where is that heading?  

 

Stephen Van Hooser 15:23 

It’s heading in a lot of different directions. The most encouraging, I think for me, is this continuing direction towards the treatment of underlying mental health issues. And that’s really become a part of the conversation, especially in the last two decades, I would say. And so, you know, the American health system never really, really interested in prevention to begin with. But certainly that’s becoming more of the conversation around addiction and substance abuse is, what are we doing as, you know, adults and parents to our children to begin this conversation, begin the awareness of the situation.  But there’s so, so a focus on treating the cause rather than the symptoms of treating mental health that has become a huge part of treatment in general. Whereas, you know, back in the 90s, certainly it was you were gonna go for a 30 day program and it was one size fits all and we’ll throw some meds at you. And then, you know, you go back to your life and everything will be just fine, which is never the case. But so mental health is a huge part of where things are heading. But there are also advances. I mean, EMDR is fairly recent, incredibly helpful. There are actually addiction vaccines that are in clinical trials right now for I think specifically nicotine and cocaine. And, you know, things like brain imaging and all of the brain studies that are being done and gene therapy. So modifying people’s genetic makeup because they think that they’ve isolated the specific gene that leads to compulsive behavior. And so there are just so many different branches and they’re all focused on very specific things in the case of like gene therapy or vaccinations. But I think no matter what we know medically and what we know scientifically that it’s always going to come back to being able to treat underlying mental health issues.  

 

Judd Shaw 17:41 

In terms of what is being treated also as an addiction from a regulatory standpoint or general standpoint, how has that evolved? Because I imagine there weren’t a lot of people treating for crystal methamphetamine or X in the 1960s, but what we’re finding, drugs have evolved, certain drugs have fallen out, new drugs are being created.  And so I wonder if it’s just also beyond drugs such as social media. Sure. Yeah.  

 

Stephen Van Hooser 18:15 

Absolutely. Technology addiction, social media addiction.  There are so many process addictions, gambling addiction, sex addiction, any compulsive behavior. And again, this goes back to the advances that are made in brain imaging and our understanding that whether or not it is the biological cause of the symptoms, that all of these things basically stem from the same place in the brain, right? So if I am constantly scrolling on my phone and I can’t stand to have my phone not be in the same room as I am, when I pick it up and start doing whatever it is that I do, I’m activating the same parts of my brain that were activated when I took a drink of whiskey. And it’s just that pleasure and reward system. And so there’s this realization that an overstimulation of that part of the brain and can eventually lead to dependence. And whether that is social media, certainly that’s become a huge part of the recovery picture gaming technology is taking up more and more space in that area daily, it seems like. And again, it all comes back to what hole are you trying to fill internally? Right.  

 

Judd Shaw 19:43 

Which is why that approach of this real specialization, because somebody can come in with an addiction to social media, their phone, and understanding the root causes of what’s producing serotonin, dopamine, and all of these things. Maybe, maybe not pharmaceutical treatment to it or pharmacological component to it, which is really interesting when you’re talking about, so are we seeing people coming in with social media and literally these types of newer addictions?  

 

Stephen Van Hooser 20:24 

Yeah, absolutely. And there are specialized treatment centers specifically for those things.  And again, it’s so with social media, we’ll just use it as an example. You know, somebody with a social media addiction is never going to benefit from the pharmacological responses that we have for medication assisted treatment for opioids or whatever. But I think back to your original question and your original point is, what’s the connection that’s missing that that specific person, if the addiction is to social media, what connection is missing that I’m trying to cultivate specifically with that instrument being social media? And so there are different treatment approaches certainly, but almost all of them involve some sort of cognitive behavioral therapy, a connection to something larger and more formative and supportive than whatever the instrument of addiction is. So if it’s social media, how do we reconnect you to your family? How do we reconnect you to the things that were driving you before the addiction started, whether it’s your education or spirituality or religion or whatever it is, reforming those connections is always such an important, maybe the most important part of that journey, I think.  

 

Judd Shaw 21:54 

And even with connection with self? Absolutely.  Yeah. I was blessed because I had great health insurance that I worked really hard for and that allowed me the gift of staying in one of your facilities. Beautiful scene, California coast, really high end in terms of the accommodations and the different treatments that are offered daily, really such an incredibly safe space to come into. But what’s out there or how do we help people of less fortunate? Like where do they go for recovery? Where are the people who are really struggling who don’t have insurance, who are losing their job, who can’t admit or tell their worker or their employer that they have even this addiction? Like where do people go who wouldn’t be so blessed in the way I found your place? Right.  

 

Stephen Van Hooser 23:12 

And, you know, important for me to say that I’m blessed with the same privilege and, you know, took it for granted for a very long time. But, you know, the truth is addiction and poverty are always gonna go hand in hand. And so people who are not as fortunate as you or I, sometimes the best that they can hope for really is a nightly 12 step meeting. Because there are not options, like the ones that were available to us, available to everyone, unfortunately.  You know, people who can’t take a day off of work, let alone three or four weeks. And the unfortunate reality is they usually don’t get help. I mean, there are certainly state run facilities that are not as expensive, those that are covered by Medicaid, Medicare. And, you know, there’s only so much that the federal government can do because of the limited resources. And those places, regardless of the reputation that they have, you know, the people who work there, they work there for usually very, very little. And because the people that are coming to them for help, they don’t have a lot of resources. But that is, that’s the unfortunate reality of our context is that there’s usually not, there’s usually not.  

 

Judd Shaw 24:38 

But I think to your point, there’s some really great sobriety that can be found in the rooms of AA, NA, there are other addiction programs and models. And I think, I think actually to their strength, that’s where connection can almost be, you know, really anchored and found you walk in and, and you’re assigned a sponsor and you got a duty, you got to come in tomorrow morning at seven to make the coffee because it gives you, you know, and, and so there’s, there’s real connection and support in those rooms.  

 

Stephen Van Hooser 25:17 

There absolutely is. And again, people have a really visceral reaction, I’m sure you know, to AA and A. And that’s not always positive, whether because of their experience or because of the principles behind it, but there are peer support recovery groups that are not 12-step. And I think that that’s important to mention too, whether it’s smart recovery or Dharma recovery, whatever it is.  But none of them, to my knowledge, can be done by yourself. They all require some connection to another person or a connection to something else, something that’s not me, right? Something that’s not you.  

 

Judd Shaw 26:02 

Yeah. What do you say to the programs that allow drinking or drugging? Thank you.  

 

Stephen Van Hooser 26:12 

Again, these are my words, so these are certainly not the words that my company organization would necessarily sponsor. But my opinion is that in a peer support group, if what it takes for you to turn your life around is to show up to that meeting and you’re taking fulfillment in life and you’re finding connection, and at the end of the day, you go home and you have a beer before you go to bed, I’m gonna say have a beer.  If that’s what it takes to keep you connected to the life that you want, then I don’t think that anybody should tell you not to. The problem is that usually, at least for people like me, the old saying, one is never enough, right? The one beer is never gonna do it. But that’s an internal choice to make. I think people talk about California sober all the time, so I don’t drink, but smoke weed or whatever it is. And really, I’ve always been of the mind that if I am fulfilled and if I am productive and if my relationships are sound, then what it takes for me to stay engaged in recovery and to stay engaged in that journey involves alcohol, if it involves substances, I’m certainly not recommending it, but I’m saying if that’s what it takes, then that’s what it takes because recovery is so personal and I’m never gonna be the person to say you can’t do that or you’re not in recovery.  

 

Judd Shaw 27:56 

Yeah, I love that it’s um, I share that view because it’s a compassionate view. And it’s, it’s one that says if that’s not the problem, then then you don’t have to remove that. Right. And so yeah, I love that.  Um, I wanted to leave with the with a takeaway, what, what three things if you could put them into a thing or a category, reflecting on your own journey, like, what do you think has worked best for you in your sober journey?  

 

Stephen Van Hooser 28:33 

I would say setting small attainable goals because I think a lot of where I was coming from, I had these expectations of things and then I wasn’t living up to them. And so that was a big part of the shame cycle. But once I realized that I could find fulfillment and pride in the fact that I was making my bed in the morning, if that’s the goal and you can attain it, then that’s a great place to start. So small attainable goals are a huge part of the equation for me, a huge part of what has worked for me.  The other is the idea that no matter where I’m at in my day or where I’m at internally, if I can ask somebody else how I can help them, if I can focus on helping somebody else, it always makes my day better, no matter how hard it is. And there are some days when it seems impossible, right? But there’s asking that question has gotten me out of so many potentially horrible situations because I can get up to all kinds of nonsense in my head, right? But if I ask somebody else how they’re doing, I’m not thinking about what’s going on in my head. And then I would say the third is just that I, again, privileged and lucky enough to have a family that is as supportive as they are. I have friends that are as supportive as they are. And that just understanding what stepping outside of my recovery would do to those relationships that are so important to me, that’s really all the motivation that I need to maintain my recovery.  Because ultimately those are the things that that’s what fulfills me, right? Is knowing that I can call my brother, I can call my mom up on the phone and just talk to him for the day. And that was never part of the equation, you know? I can tuck my daughter in and read to her before she goes to sleep. Those kind of things, just figuring out and whether it’s family or friends or self or nature, whatever it is, that kind of connection, that it has to exist in order for recovery, I think to be successful.  

 

Judd Shaw 31:05 

The opposite of addiction is connection. Yeah. Absolutely. Thanks so much for coming on the show. Yeah. Thank you. I really appreciate your time.  

 

Stephen Van Hooser 31:14 

Yeah, thank you so much for having me.  

 

Judd Shaw 31:16 

next time stay curious stay courageous bravery starts in the heart