Live a Life of Intentionality with Finnian Kelly

Judd Shaw: Welcome to behind the armor, where we deep dive into the heart of what matters. I’m your host, Judd Shaw, adventurer, storyteller, agent of change, and speaker on authenticity and integrity.

Join me as we explore the complexities of human connection featuring theorists, scientists, and speakers. Our mission is simple, to inspire you to reclaim your true self and create genuine connections with others. Join me as we lay down our armor and live authentically. Hello, you beautiful people, and thanks for tuning in.

Today, we’re talking with Finian Kelly. He is a leading expert on living a life of intentionality. In the past 13 years of speaking around the world, Finian has delivered high energy and mind blowing presentations that consistently rate as a [00:01:00] 10 out of 10 event for organizations around the world. all over the world.

Finian has helped thousands of entrepreneurs, leaders, and high performers make significant shifts in their career, relationships, and overall health. Finian goes all in on his unique presentations and coaching, guaranteeing positive transformations. Let’s uncover what’s behind the armor with Finian.

Finian, my friend, welcome to the show.

Finnian Kelly Judd, I’m so excited. You’re one of the most energetic, charismatic person I’ve met. And I think the two of us are going to have some good banter.

Judd Shaw: Let’s go, baby. Let’s do it. You know, uh, I wanted to tell you that I don’t really set New Year’s resolutions, but each new year I do set kind of a theme.

I want to anchor into a theme that I believe will help me personally and professionally. [00:02:00] And this year in January, when I was thinking about it, I said to myself, I wanted to be more intentional. I want to be more intentional in my actions and my behaviors and how I show up in how I process decisions.

And then, you know, here, not so long ago, boom, you come out with intentionality. Like amazing and, and it is amazing and I want to get into it, but I wanted to first ask you when I made this theme in my head before even reading your book, why was that a big step without me even maybe realizing how big it was to think, to be more intentional.

Finnian Kelly Yeah, so we have a very similar practice in that regard. I have a annual theme as well. And this year, my theme is commitment, which is very fitting seeing. I’m about to have my first [00:03:00] baby. I’m launching a number of new projects. So, so I’m working on that as well. And what we’re ultimately looking for there is a feeling.

That’s what we’re, we’re sitting for with that intention. What’s great about your news practice is it’s not this arbitrary. Well, I can only be successful if I achieve this type of resolution, which so many people are set out. And that’s why they end up after a week, they, they break something and they end up giving up on it because they feel like they’ve, they’ve lost it.

But your act of being in more intentional, that doesn’t matter if you’re not intentional today, okay. How do you be more intentional tomorrow? And you just keep moving in that way. So ultimately what you were looking for was a feeling. That’s what intention intentionality is for you. It’s, it’s a feeling same with commitment.

I wanted to just feel what it would be like to, to lean in and commit more. And that one act that then. grounds us every single day to go, well, what’s the behavior I could do to lead towards that [00:04:00] intention. And by that nature, before we know it, we start changing and the nature of incremental improvements.

By the end of the year, we’re a completely different person.

Judd Shaw: I wanted to get a little more underneath this because I remember I had a consultant once that came to my, my law firm and they were giving us information about processes and systems. And somebody raised their hand and said, I feel XXX about and the consultant said, ah, no, no, no, no, we don’t feel here.

No one feel. We think you can think this or think that, but you can’t feel it. That’s. Bad information, isn’t it?

Finnian Kelly It’s really sad, isn’t it? That’s a common practice in business. We have this saying, Oh, don’t take this personally. It’s just business. We are human beings. And by nature of that, we’re emotional beings and thinking is.

One way, but actually when we raise [00:05:00] our states on, on the state of consciousness, as Dr. David Hawkins would talk about, you go from a place of thinking to actual feeling and the idea that we can just move it out of our way of making decisions. It’s just not possible. We’re all doing it, whether we’re aware of it or not.

So what we’re trying to do with intentionality or what we’re very focused on is bringing that to the forefront and being honest with ourselves and go, that’s the only reason we ever want a goal or an outcome is because we hope it gives us a feeling and we flip that around and then we can, and we can start driving that in the present moment because that’s the beautiful thing about a feeling is.

You can go after it right now. You don’t have to wait till the end of the year before you can feel what it’s like to be intentional as your theme. You can feel that right now. It could be in the morning and before you get up, you don’t turn on your phone for an hour. You’ve just committed to your theme for the year rather than, all right, do I have to reach all these metrics?

And then I get to be [00:06:00] intentional,

Judd Shaw: you know, we’re both keynote speakers and one of those things can be, uh, attaching to the outcome, which is how many keynotes have done what my fee is, you know, the, the, the, the markers, the KPIs and targets. Or you’re, you’re suggesting channeling. How do you feel when you’re on stage?

How do you feel when you’re giving a keynote? And if you don’t hit 10 keynotes in a month, year, whatever, where can you find and apply that feeling to other pursuits in your life? And therein lie, you become successful.

Finnian Kelly Exactly. It’s that the difference between the external and the internal. When you rely on external metrics, you’re at the whim of other people.

And that’s not a very great place. We could have a situation where the pandemic occurred, for example, and if you’d based [00:07:00] all your success on certain metrics, It didn’t matter how good you actually were. None of us could achieve our metrics during that time. So if you were focusing on, am I adding value?

Am I being impactful? Am I inspiring people? Then you could do that in any way. It could be through this podcast. It could be communicating with other people in the community, whatever it is you’re doing. And it will drive you into a great status, status, satisfaction. Then the funny thing is the external metrics will start improving because your energetic field will start increasing because you’re feeling positive about yourself.

You’re feeling, uh, whole, and then that starts imprinting on other people. And before you know it, You start getting more keynotes as well.

Judd Shaw: Hmm. You know, I, I had, uh, somebody ask me about spirituality, like what is spirituality versus religion? And uh, and this was all my transformation, sort of like journey that I started from this dark night moment that I had.

Right. [00:08:00] And I was exploring all different therapies and all different medicines and all different modalities. And then I read. Your book in a line that just BAM resonated with me Finian and it said Spirituality is just getting to know ourselves better. I love that What’s the background to that

Finnian Kelly so often?

We’re looking outward for the answers And when, when we actually connect to divinity and the truth, and we realize that it’s all knowing, all powerful, all creative in everything at all times. And we are manifestations of, once you start getting to know yourself, you realize you are that you are this powerful creator.

And that’s why I define spirituality. Is that because when you get to know yourself. You bypass, well, you don’t bypass, you transcend the ego and you [00:09:00] start realizing, ah, it’s always been here the whole time. I don’t need to complete a particular course. I don’t need to learn certain doctrine. I don’t need to abide by certain rules.

It’s here. It’s available. And once you start connecting to that, Wow, you realize there’s something bigger than than anything we can ever really understand or try to know, but it feels something you feel it and life just becomes a little bit easier on that journey. And that’s why it’s such a beautiful statement.

I’m so glad you connected to it because it frees you. It frees you. That’s that’s the number one thing. And it gives you back the agency for your own transformation rather than letting someone else determine it for you,

Judd Shaw: right? Which is I have the choice to be even intentional or non intentional, which in self is empowering.

It’s incredible.

Finnian Kelly Most people don’t realize that they have that choice. That’s the [00:10:00] crazy thing. They believe that their state of circumstances, that’s the way they are. We hear these sayings like, Oh, that’s just the way I am. Or I’m hardwired that way. Not true. Not true at all. Right. Only thing we know is that we’re completely malleable.

Everything is in a state of impermanence. Everything is changing all the time. So never allow yourself to be stuck in that way.

Judd Shaw: Wanting to be. More intentional and taking agency in becoming more intentional makes me more intentional. Just the act of wanting to be more intentional.

Finnian Kelly It’s where it all begins.

It goes back to quantum mechanics, quantum physics, where the observer affects the observed. You, by setting that intent has now changed your state of being. And that’s wild to comprehend that. And that’s where I always start with, how do you want to feel? Because once you get that [00:11:00] clarity, everything now can start moving in action for you.

And yes, you still have to follow through with the practice. But the, the amazing thing is, is that there’s no linear time when we actually comprehend it in the, in the way we transform in the quantum world. It’s just happening now. So when we change our intent. Bang. We, we are now on a different path. We’ve stepped into a different state of consciousness.

Judd Shaw: Let’s talk about how to be more intentional. I mean, right, there are, I know you have a framework and, uh, the number, the first part of it really is the heart of what I think you even refer to as a superpower. I talk about authenticity being. Our superpower but you get underneath and say your breath is your superpower

Finnian Kelly I do and the reason why is [00:12:00] it brings us back to the present moment and it is presence.

That is life. Presence is life. And so often because of our desire to think we are escaping from the present moment. And the reason why we’re escaping from the present moment is because we have some for form of belief, some story that right in this present moment we are not safe or it doesn’t feel right, it doesn’t feel comfortable ’cause we haven’t learned how to truly feel.

So as soon as a sensation comes forward that feels a little bit. Unpleasant or uneasy, we escape into the future or the past by thinking, but by the nature of that, we’re not in life, we’re in this phantom present in this in this weird state of before and after, and that’s why we need the breath to pull us back.

And when we’re breathing, we realize, ah, there’s actually nothing to be fearful of that sensation [00:13:00] is just a sensation and it’s going to rise and it’s going to pass. And we have nothing to be worried about it. We we’re alive. We’re here. And that’s the power of the breath. Is to help us ground into that moment.

And then we can truly start living. And when we’re truly in the present moment, we act something, access something greater than ourselves. That’s where we access this universal mind, this field of energy that all intelligence comes forward, the mind of God, the mind of absolute. And that’s where the magic occurs.

Because now we are unlimited, we are infinite beings. And you know this because you’re a great speaker. When we try to think on stage about what we’re going to say, or we’re so worried about how the audience is perceiving us, we are not in the present moment. We are not grounded. And the only content that can come through in that moment is what we already know.

And often we don’t know that much, but then when you’re [00:14:00] fully in your body and you go out there and your intention is, well, I just want to really be present and I want to be grounded and I don’t want to bring joy to others. Suddenly you’re out there. And you’re observing content come through your mouth and you’re like, wow, what is that?

That’s incredible. That’s a, that’s a great, great insight because we’re co creating with divinity in that moment. We’re not just blocking ourselves off to her.

Judd Shaw: I’m so vibing with that. That is so true. And I challenge anyone to have a conversation with another person and be thinking about and be thinking about what am I wearing?

Uh, what am I doing? What’s the, what’s my hand placement? And what am I? Right. And then also being able to verbalize and stay in the conversation and have a deep mindful understanding of what the other person is talking about, because it’s hard to hold those two spaces at the same time. Right.

Finnian Kelly Exactly. I was just having a conversation with a, another [00:15:00] coach and they were concerned.

We’re not concerned. They were, they were just curious. How is it that you can charge the amount that you do? Like what tactics do you use? And I went, that’s the problem. It’s not about the tactics I have. I have an incredible toolkit of the most extraordinary different things I can bring out in a coaching session, but the reason why I get to charge, what I do is because of presence, I am so present with that person that they feel that.

And then that enables something to come through them that they haven’t felt safe to share before. And then presence is enabled to come through me, which might provide the insight that they needed to hear, to unlock themselves. If I’m thinking about tactics or what I’m going to do, I lose that opportunity.

Now, Halfway through the session, after presence has come through me, I might bring out some tactics and go, Oh, I know something really great to go there right now, but [00:16:00] that’s second to presence. And if we all could just focus on being a little bit more present with each other in meetings, when we’re speaking, when we’re interacting with our partners, just watch.

Suddenly, you’ll have a lot more time in your day because people will just love being around you. There won’t be any conflict. You won’t cause problems for yourselves. And then incredible insights will just keep coming through all the time.

Judd Shaw: How much deeper you driving those connections, right? When you’re present in the conversation.

Um, what I what I heard about the breath was and read in the book. Was profound in a sense that it was awakening for me to realize that that’s a first place to come from before I’m making decisions, before I’m acting on those decisions, because I’m [00:17:00] intentionally making better ones when I’m not dysregulated, when I’m not coming from a limited belief, why I’m not acting on a narrative that I’ve told myself, right?

So when I’m able. And I think Polly Vagel for a moment here, right? When I’m not in red, yellow, shutdown, fight or flight. When I’m in green, when we’re having a conversation like this and I’m,

I’m, I have that clarity that you talk about, I, I can think more clearly and calmly and therefore more intentionally make better decisions and therefore better outcomes.

Finnian Kelly Definitely. Where I want to go with this right now is. The difference between context and content. The world is obsessed with content.

It’s, Oh, I’ve read this, I’ve consumed this. And what people don’t [00:18:00] realize though, is, is that the content. It all depends on what’s the context that you’re looking through. If someone has a negative bias, they’ll look at some content and, and through their context, they will be going, well, this is a negative experience.

Someone else with a positive context will be looking through this content going, oh, this is a great opportunity. What’s different. The content is actually the same, but the way we perceive the content is very differently. So what the breath does. It helps us slow down, be present, and then we can start exploring.

Are we looking through this content through a fear based paradigm or a love based paradigm? Very, very different. And then we can start using that information to make better decisions, smarter decisions. And that’s why I always say, you don’t need more time in your day. You just need to get better at decision making.

And the way we do that is to be aware of what energetic state we [00:19:00] are in when we’re making decisions.

Judd Shaw: You have facilitated breathwork. You include breathwork in coaching, in your mentoring, in your workshops, in your keynote. I’ve seen you do breathwork, uh, for the listeners. Can, can we do something like that?

That right now, can you walk me through a short, maybe breathing exercise?

Finnian Kelly Yeah, we definitely can. I’d love

Judd Shaw: to do it.

Finnian Kelly So is there a particular thing you’re going through right now that you’d love to explore?

Judd Shaw: Yeah, I’m, I’m, I’m struggling with a sort of a strategy because I know I’m coming from a An emotional sense, and I want to clear the, sort of the beliefs or the narratives that I’ve told myself so I could just sort of step into the clarity and make a better, a better strategic decision.

Finnian Kelly Okay. All right. Perfect. So what I’d love you to do is just to close your eyes [00:20:00] and for this. Practice. I’m actually going to get you to verbalize when I ask you some questions, judge, just so people can experience this as well. So right now, as you connect to your current state, I just want you to describe what’s your breath doing.

So you’re not trying to actually dictate the breath. You’re just observing the breath. And then also describe any sensations you might feel in your chest, your body at all.

Judd Shaw: My, my breath is shorter. It’s not deep.

Finnian Kelly Yep. And any sensations?

Judd Shaw: My shoulders feel heavy.

Finnian Kelly Yeah. So, we might be observing that perhaps there’s a little bit of fear and a little bit of anxiousness around this decision. Um, that’s, and when we’re in that state, it could be a cue that [00:21:00] potentially this isn’t the right path, or that what we need to do is get you into the right state in order to make that decision.

So, that’s what I’m going to do now. So I just want you to start breathing in and out through your nose. Very nice, gentle, slow, deep breaths. The key with a breath is no one should really be able to hear it. A lot of people, when I say take a breath in there, it’s like a, and then that’s not actually helping us at all.

It’s a very nice, slow, quiet breath. I’m going to start breathing in and out to a count of five. So letting out all your air. And then inhale, 4, 3, 2, 1. Exhale, 4, 3, 2, 1. In, 4, 3, 2, 1. Out, 4, [00:22:00] 3, 2, 1. In. Maybe just noticing that you’re starting to feel a little bit more open, a little bit more expansive, and then out four, three, two, one.

Now I want you to go to a time in your life where you just made a really great decision. One that just felt so easy. You knew it went well. It just was a perfect decision. And I want you to connect with, That state, like, relive that feeling right now, and I want you to start observing what’s happening in your body, and this is where I’m going to ask you to describe this a little bit, Jude.

Judd, what’s, uh, what are you breathing? What does it sound, smell like? What’s the breath shape like? And what sensations are coming forward?[00:23:00]

Judd Shaw: I can smell flowers.

Finnian Kelly Mm hmm.

Judd Shaw: The air feels crisp.

Finnian Kelly And what’s your breath doing?

Judd Shaw: My breath is deeper.

Finnian Kelly Mm hmm.

Judd Shaw: Longer.

Finnian Kelly And those sensations?

Judd Shaw: I feel lighter.

Finnian Kelly Mm hmm.

Judd Shaw: More expansive. Almost sitting upright.

Finnian Kelly Okay, beautiful. And now I want you to travel to another time in your life. Where you made a decision that just went wrong and perhaps you even knew that it was the wrong decision and it didn’t work well for you.

And unfortunately, I’m going to ask you to relive that like right now and just start noticing what changes, what sensations are happening.

Have you found one? [00:24:00]

Speaker 3: I have.

Finnian Kelly Okay, and just observing what’s happening with your body now.

Judd Shaw: The first observation is almost that I stopped breathing together.

Finnian Kelly Great. Yeah. Yup.

Judd Shaw: It was as if I was holding my breath.

Finnian Kelly Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

Judd Shaw: I felt smaller. Mm hmm. My shoulders shrunk a little bit.

Finnian Kelly All right, I want you to go back to that previous state you were in, that beautiful place where you just had that great decision that just went with ease and just flow. The breath is just deeper. It’s more relaxed and more open. You just feel a deep sense of peace, a deep sense of knowingness. And as you.

Now connect to this decision that you need to make, the one that you brought forward. I want you to bring that decision forward right now, that new one that you [00:25:00] need to make. And do you feel like you’ve got, do you know the decision or you’ve been avoiding the decision?

Judd Shaw: I’ve been avoiding the decision.

Finnian Kelly Okay. Do you know a couple of options? I

Judd Shaw: do.

Finnian Kelly Okay. So I want you to bring forward the first one that you know of right now. And I just want you to feel like you’re going ahead with that decision.

And I want you to observe what’s happening in your body. What sensations, what breath. And just tell me, does it, is it more like the first path or the second path?

Judd Shaw: The first path. Very strong. Okay. Okay.

Finnian Kelly Very strongly, I noticed a whole smile, a change in your body sensation.

And then I want you to imagine the other path, the other option, if there was another [00:26:00] option you were doing. Try that on for now, and start seeing what happens in your body then.

Judd Shaw: It almost immediately feels wrong.

Finnian Kelly Okay. All right. So, let’s go back to that first decision again, trying that on.

Now, what would it look like to just move forward with that decision now with that knowingness?

Judd Shaw: It feels right.

Finnian Kelly Mm hmm.

Judd Shaw: It

Finnian Kelly feels right. And that’s the key. It doesn’t, it’s not about thinking. It just feels right. So, you can come back now, Judd.

Judd Shaw: That was so good.

Finnian Kelly Yeah. And that’s the example. So, you could spend. Months agonizing over a decision, but ultimately, how do you end up making that decision? At some point?

[00:27:00] You’ll get to exactly what you just did, then you’re like, it feels right.

Judd Shaw: That’s amazing. And I even smirk because that’s the word I used that feels right. And that was to your point is follow the feeling, pursue the feeling, right? So what was happening? I can tell you that in my body, the feeling felt lighter.

It felt right. It almost smelled like flowers and and what I’m wondering is what, what physiologically is happening in my body for for listeners. What’s happening? That’s helping this state of clarity.

Finnian Kelly So there’s a few things. So we all receive these insights a little bit differently. So this is why I always say, try this on for your own experience, because your sensations will be potentially different from someone else’s, they might be similar, but sometimes we, we [00:28:00] get a feeling of love in a different way.

So you might smell flowers, someone else might have a different, different taste in their mouth or something. So that’s, that’s one. Our body. Is incredibly powerful. Uh, the heart intuits where the brain thinks it’s, it comprehends the heart knows everything it’s played out every other scenario that’s ever existed.

And it can instantly tell you whether this is pretty much bringing you more into love or more into fear. And you can’t lie. Like I can’t, you can’t think your way out of that. You knew that you had a, an experience there. And what we noticed there was that. By bringing forward some form of psychological experience, it changed the physiological state, whether it was fear, which would be an indication of maybe this isn’t the right path, you stopped breathing, closed off, or if it was, oh, love, this is a good path for you, then it was more open.

So we can use that to just [00:29:00] make decisions so much quicker. We don’t need to waste hours thinking and ruminating over decisions. Actually, what’s happening there is the ego is hijacking us. It’s creating this false narrative about, well, maybe you won’t survive. It won’t survive. This doesn’t go right. And it, all it does is justify its existence.

So we can transcend the ego by just dropping into our physical bodies and just knowing, cause you’ve made good decisions before you’ve also made Bad decisions before. So the body won’t lie to you. The challenge is, is if we trick ourselves by saying, Oh, this feels right. When we’re not actually in our body, what we’re really doing then is the ego is creating a thought and we go, Oh, yep.

That, that supports me because of a belief loop that we’ve created in the past. So for example, um, if you. Uh, have had a negative experience investing, for [00:30:00] example, you’re feeling the story that the thought which you’re confusing is a feeling might come through. Oh, this isn’t a good investment. However, that’s because you have a scarcity belief loop tricking you.

That’s why we’ve got to drop into our body and we’ve got to have the felt experience. If you’re not getting a sensation in the body, you’re not feeling. And so many people go, Oh, that feels right. Yeah. Or I’m trusting my intuition. No, that’s not your intuition. That’s your ego’s belief loops. It’s the survival based program.

Judd Shaw: So there was a time where I was so stuck in survival mode and I know. A lot of, I mean, you have an incredible story. A lot of your story plays out in the book. And I loved that you were walking me, the reader, hand in hand through understanding systems and, uh, and, and understanding how [00:31:00] intentionality

delivers better outcomes. And you use a lot of your story, your, you know, in Australia, you’re the first business, your first relationship. Um, and so I loved your, the approach, which is really coming from both science. I know that you, you were deeply believed in, in, in science, spirituality on how you determined that, uh, but also your own experience, right?

Your own life. Your, you owned your story. And a lot of your story is how you created your framework for intentionality. And so I wanted, I was, I wanted to know how to trust the feeling because there were times where my story [00:32:00] resonated with yours and I could get back into that time. And say, Judd, I’m not so sure I even would have trusted yourself.

How do you, how do you do that?

Finnian Kelly Beautiful question. So everyone, it’s a throwaway comment. People go, trust your intuition and trust your first instinct. I challenge people on that. It depends on the context of what you’re experiencing. So I give a simple analogy. If there’s certain people out there who hop in planes.

And they’ve got this story that, Oh, their breath starts shortening down. And they believe they’re going to die and they go, I can’t believe I’m going to go in this plane. Planes are unsafe and they’re in this complete fit the whole time. Do we trust their intuition? They do intuition. First ink stick is telling them they’re going to die, but we know that planes are pretty safe.

Now, if a pilot who flies all the time, one day suddenly gets this little feeling I should not [00:33:00] hop in that plane today. I a hundred percent want them to trust their intuition because their context is, I don’t, I live in love. I’m confident with flying. However, some insight is coming through. So what we need to do first is to check.

When we’re trusting our intuition, what state we’re in, we’re in a love-based state, or we’re in a fear-based state, and that’s why you, you’ll notice that I got you into a, a loving place first, a calm place first in order to make that decision. If I’d started straight away, just going, all right, let’s try on those paths.

How does it feel? You were already in a bit of a closed off position, right? Instinct might not have been as accurate. So that’s, that’s one step. Another part is. That’s where we really need to get into our bodies and asking the greater question of, is this for my highest good? And then the body will, will tell us.

So it goes back to, are you thinking or are you feeling? [00:34:00] Most of the time when I, when people, uh, uh, And making the decision. It’s not actually them. It’s a ego. It’s a survival based program, which is creating all these illusions around fear, and they’re just not true. And that’s why the best thing to do is come back to the breath and doesn’t matter what situation in urine.

If you’re breathing, you’re alive. You’re okay. So that story of survival is not actually true. You are already thriving. Every human being is thriving. So coming back, coming back to the breath, and then we then go and make the decision. You can’t think your way out of a problem. That’s something, another thing as well.

People try to think themselves out of problems all the time. As soon as you’re thinking, you’re not actually allowing any of the true intelligence to come through, stop the thinking, let go of the problem. This is why all the great scientists will say, sleep on it. Like they’ll always say, let’s sleep on it because then they’re accessing some [00:35:00] higher intelligence that can come through them rather than trying to solve from their limited construct.

Judd Shaw: Hmm. And. You know, we have our autonomous systems in our body, and I’m not telling my foot walk and my other foot. Okay, now you, your turn. And when I’m walking, right, but can you train yourself to be more intentional without having to think about being intentional?

Finnian Kelly Beautiful, beautiful question. I just want to quickly say one more thing.

And the last question is, it’s, you also need to look back on your past behaviors. So there’s certain things, and you know this, when the mind starts telling you, Oh, just go have that drink, or it’s going to be okay. You look back at your previous life and you know that you can’t fully trust yourself in this experience because, because you have a pattern of a certain behavior, [00:36:00] um, for someone else who doesn’t have that problem, they can trust themselves.

It’s like, Oh, that might actually be beneficial right now. That might be helpful. So looking back at your previous. Behaviors can also help. Another big thing is don’t trust every thought that comes through your mind. If a lot of people think that I must just have pleasant thoughts all the time, if everyone had a, like a observatory of my mind, there’s some crazy things that coming through.

I just have enough experience to go. I don’t trust them. I literally go, Oh, that’s a good one. Uh, I’m not going to know where that’s coming from. Yeah. Yeah. So I know what

Judd Shaw: part. Okay. Is saying that.

Finnian Kelly Yeah, exactly. So I don’t think you actually do need to think all the time to be intentional. You just need to be present.

And when you’re present, it just automatically happens. If, when you, if, if I’m, if I want to bring more joy and more peace and more love, I don’t [00:37:00] need to think about how to do that. That is actually my natural state. And then I’m in that place. And I observe and I start going, Oh, I’m not being very peaceful and pleasant right now.

What’s a different course of action. It’s, it’s pretty simple. So a lot less thinking is required in life. It’s a story. Kids don’t think you actually ask kids. They’re like, what are you thinking of right now? They’re like, what do you mean? I’m not thinking that’s a, that’s an adult thing that we train them to do.

And it’s all because we’re escaping from the present moment.

Judd Shaw: Um, what do you want a reader to get out? intentionality. And when I asked that, I asked that because there’s a point of your book well made that I feel the same way [00:38:00] in certain communities and groups, which is the healers and the journey in the transformational world, which it, by, Most stretch is really loving and caring and compassionate and and people want other people to do well, because that’s how we all do well, right?

But there’s also a lot of content that can be misguided and misguided. And, and actually hurtful, right? Because when we’re crawled up on the corners of our garage floor and, and really needing some help, some content could actually be very hurtful. And I think that you make a point of that in, in your book.

And so what is it when you went into to writing this and, and finishing it that you really Out of your heart’s divine wanted people to get out of it. [00:39:00]

Finnian Kelly I wanted everyone to realize that they already have it. They have everything they need in order to build the life they’re searching for. They just haven’t accessed it yet.

And yes, there’s so much inequality in the world and it’s very unfair. However, if we play that game. You’re still part of the program. You’re still part of the coding. This is the chance to break free of that. And the way we do that is connecting to our own inner power, our own strength. And it all begins with the breath and understanding how our mind works.

And they’re the two things that we were all born equal with. We were all born with breath. We all were born access to universal mind. And when we tap into that, Anything is possible. You do not have to tolerate any circumstance, who you are, what your life looks like. You can change it and you don’t have to rely on anyone else.

Judd Shaw: You know, you talk about beliefs [00:40:00] and narratives, right? The, the messages that we continue to tell ourselves, because it seems like that can get in our, our way, right? That can be an obstacle. To to intentionality, right?

Finnian Kelly Totally. Beliefs are everything. Whatever you believe, that’s, that’s what you’re going to see the world through.

And that’s what you’re going to create more of in your life. So, one of the beautiful thing about life is. We have a diverse range of humans, and I believe I celebrate everyone’s beliefs. Go for it. Have your own, own belief. However, not at the cost of yourself or someone else. If your beliefs are hurting you or someone else, why?

They’re just, they’re just stories. They’re just interpretations. Change the narrative and life might be a little bit more pleasant. And I don’t think that’s the thing that people really understand is, is that you can. Completely change your life by changing your beliefs. But in order to do [00:41:00] that, you have to almost be willing to let yourself die.

In some regards, there’s a lot of things that I was very attached to define my story and my narrative, and I had to let them go. And it felt like I was betraying my younger self. But ultimately what I was really doing was honoring my current self because those stories that I used as survival, which I needed, they weren’t making me thrive anymore.

They were actually causing me a lot of pain. And that’s when I went, you know what? I’m willing to let all of that go, because all I care about is how do I feel in this present moment? And if this brings me a little bit more peace, a little bit more love, a little bit more joy to let this go, let’s, let’s go for it.

Judd Shaw: And therein lies the, the breakthrough to a limited belief, which is the question that you asked yourself in that moment of your dark night, right? Why [00:42:00] aren’t I having this outcome and why isn’t this better and why isn’t my relationship and why isn’t this and write the asking of the why, as opposed to like, how do I want to feel and and and breaking through the limited belief is as opposed to being concerned so much.

So. With the why, why is this happening to me? Why is this is chasing the feeling of forget the why, but it’s how do I want to feel?

Finnian Kelly Yeah. And it takes it back to me being able to actually create change right now, rather than trying to understand this complex world. I can never understand this complex world.

I can understand how I fit into it right now though. And all we really have. Is right now. And what I started realizing was even the past is in the present moment. So I could change my past by just changing my experience of the [00:43:00] present moment. And and I did start doing that. I started focusing on different narratives, different stories.

And suddenly it was like the past was rewritten. It was painted over and all it did was make my life a little bit more pleasurable. And I believe when I made my life a little bit more pleasurable, full of peace, love, and joy, it started rubbing off on other people because my energetic field felt more expansive.

And then I started to be able to provide that to others. And this is why I think a young, younger version, I was definitely like this focused on saving the world and healing the world. Now, I think that’s such a ridiculous, Concept to think that me and my limited mind construct could have any idea of what the great universe is plans.

Instead, what I’m going to do is I’m just going to focus on how do I get to know myself better, which means I’m connecting to something bigger than myself, connecting to this great energetic field. And then by the by product of that, [00:44:00] hopefully that interacts with other people as well. And, and before we know it, we’re all feeling a little bit better.

Judd Shaw: You know, it sure brings me back to the time when we were talking in Arizona at like a, a kindergarten table, right. And small little chairs and sitting out there trying to grab a little bite to eat. We, I, I felt like a first grader hanging out with you after the sandbox.

Finnian Kelly It was so spectacular. And what was so spectacular about that moment is none of us were trying to Like there was no trying it was so organic.

It was so raw. It was childlike. There was curiosity and we were humbled by those little seats at the playgrounds. And I think we went back into our child, child, uh, like self. And we just started to really being curious with each other and being present. And the depth of that conversation was.

Electrifying. It was better than anything else. I experienced it at that conference. And, uh, we created a deep resonance with each other and we started realizing, ah, [00:45:00] we’re on the same energetic field frequency.

Speaker 3: Yes,

Finnian Kelly we want to go help people. We want to help each other. And there’s been a bond ever since.

Judd Shaw: And I think even one of the values, right? You name yours is, uh, in one of your values is. Is being a child playing like a child, right? Yes. And so when you get into that connection, it is a very powerful moment.

Finnian Kelly No thinking. There was no thinking at all.

Judd Shaw: You know, I thought about on the intentionality part to it.

Finian is that when I go in and let’s say, somebody says, I’m going to be intentional about how I approach my boss to get Uh, a different position because I don’t like the position that I’m working in. And the feeling that I have is, you know, low consciousness stuff about my work and about how I approach my professional career.

And so being intentional doesn’t [00:46:00] necessarily mean that when I go in and the outcome is that I get. Change into the department or the team that I want to be. It may very well say you go in there and all of a sudden the boss is like, okay, you’re fired. You’re like, Ooh, I didn’t plan that. But to your point intentionality is that if you went into it that way, the feeling.

That you’re chasing you still very well may find because universe just presented you an opportunity to get a different job

Finnian Kelly exactly and that’s one of the biggest challenges that we as humans struggle with is we can’t understand the bigger plan the bigger path of this universe and so often what we see is something is really negative right now maybe.

The greatest opportunity in your life, the path of transformation. And we, we often do that in reflection. We look back at certain moments that we thought were so bad. And now we look at and go, Oh, I’m so glad that happened. [00:47:00] Thank you. Like that was my, that was my growth opportunity. That created me to go to this whole world, which I love so much right now.

So if we know that in reflection, why don’t we use that a little bit more in the present moment? Now, every little bit of struggle, every little bit of challenge I go. Oh, beautiful. Another moment, another moment to grow. Perhaps this is going to be the pathway to something brilliant. Now that doesn’t automatically happen for me.

It’s getting better. I have through intentionality created a habitual program where I, I get there a lot quicker, however, I still have to bring myself back and that’s where I have to step into a greater state of consciousness, stopping the victim, connect to my higher self and go, how is this happening for me rather than to me?

And that. That approach, suddenly, things become a little bit easier. Discomfort almost becomes pleasurable. You get a little smile on your face. And it’s something I do with people all the [00:48:00] time when they come and they’re in their worst places. They feel better after being with me because I don’t, I don’t Feel sorry for them.

I go, can you please savor this moment? Because this moment you’re having is so rare. Even if my life completely blew up right now, I wouldn’t have the same feeling as I would when I wrote that book, because I was at a different state of consciousness and I have enough experience now to know that I’m actually going to be okay.

So I look back at back at that time. I go, Oh, I wish I’d savored it even more. I’m pretty proud of how I learned from it, but for anyone else, Let’s, let’s grab onto this because it means you’re going through a, a new portal and you portal for exploration, everything is available to you.

Judd Shaw: Love your energy and your frequency.

I love it. I love it. I love eating it up. You know, I wanted, so. You’re about to be a parent, you’re weeks away, right? Congratulations. Um, [00:49:00] is there an age in which we can be teaching our young ones intentionality? At what age can they start to learn the skillset, right? Because all of these things aren’t taught until, I mean, I would have loved to learn them a lot earlier than I’m learning them now.

When, when can we

Finnian Kelly So there’s a few, few key parts. The first is we’ve got to try to not unlearn it for them. The problem is they actually are living with intentionality and then we are coding them with practices which aren’t intentional. So that’s the first part is so good with ourself and not projecting all our problems onto our child.

So even just little things like instead of answering straight away when a kid asks, Oh, what is that? Be curious. You go, what do you see? Okay. Because they might see something completely different and you might learn from them rather than putting a label. As soon as we put a label, we’ve put a construct [00:50:00] over something.

So that’s the first part. Then just knowing that we are not perfect human beings, we are going to code our children with faulty programs, no matter what, doesn’t matter how conscious you are. That’s, that’s going to happen. Then you help them bring awareness. And at about the age seven, that’s when the conscious mind starts developing and they start looking at like, Oh, this is what I want.

Thoughts start coming into their mind. The ego starts rising up because of different conditions they’ve experienced in their childhood. That’s the moment where you could start bringing awareness and helping them connect. To their feelings and realizing that they don’t have to carry this on forever or getting to question going, okay, what story are you telling yourself right now?

And I think if you just create that narrative with them, and this is just a hypothesis, but that’s what I’m going to do with my child. I believe you’ll end up creating a very empowered young adult [00:51:00] who knows how to, to Not believe every thought they have to question their thoughts, to honor their feelings, to not be scared of feelings, because that’s ultimately where all the negative coding comes from was just because they didn’t feel their feelings.

At some point, they felt alone and felt safe. And the young mind was too scared to comprehend how they could be alone. So this went, let’s suppress it, express it, or numb it. And by doing that, we literally create a faulty program. So. Luckily, in a lot of schools now, they’re actually starting to do this.

They’re helping people connect to their breath and connect to their, their feelings. And that’s going to be the next raise of consciousness. And that’s why we are, that’s why consciousness is rising. And we’ve got nothing to be really worried about. It’s, it’s a beautiful time in the world.

Judd Shaw: You know, I, I am going to take away the, let’s not unlearn it.

That is so good. So true. Right. [00:52:00] I did know it. It was when all the narratives and beliefs and the things you talk about in your book happen. That I learned how to become unintentional. Exactly. Right? The body and the breath and the system was always built from the very start, just like it was for all of us.

It’s all perfection.

Finnian Kelly That’s why we don’t have to think about our health. It just does it until we get in the way we create blockages to our health by not getting the natural sunlight, but not eating the right nutrients. It all is in balance. It knows how to self regulate. We just have to self regulate ourselves with our emotions.

Stop blocking the emotional flow.

Judd Shaw: I don’t think this has been a great conversation. I feel. That it has been a spectacular conversation. And you know, I want to wrap up by asking you this, you are an exceptional keynote speaker. [00:53:00] I mean that your book is profound. You’ll be able to read my review, uh, I believe on Amazon.

Um, and. I found it to be incredibly helpful. It is a, it is a consolidated toolbook of just making a better decision in a very simple framework. I really loved it. And on top of it, um, embarking on. On on being a dad and your book launch. I mean you’re just doing so much my man for for the universe and for the world And you’re putting out so so much good stuff and I am i’m blessed and grateful to even know you I want to know from you finian How do you most authentically connect with yourself when you’re doing so much?

I

Finnian Kelly have to be very honest with myself. That’s, that’s the first [00:54:00] practice and how I do that is I walk in nature. I sit and breathe anything that I just can just sit with myself and it feels uncomfortable. A lot of the times there’s a lot of the times I, uh, I’m caught up with different things and actually honoring myself can be quite challenging because I hold a lot of space for other people.

So being tender, tender to myself is a journey that I’m definitely on one that I’m still learning how to do. But every day it gets a little bit easier and I don’t, I’m not that criticizer that I used to be anymore. I’ll, I’ll be aware and I go, okay, okay, ego, you want me to pay attention? Let’s let’s explore.

And, uh, I just give myself a bit of tender love.

Judd Shaw: Finian Kelly’s intentionality, uh, everywhere you buy books, it is [00:55:00] awesome and you are awesome, my friend. And just thank you so much for holding this, uh, conversation with me and being a part of it. And if you want to learn more about Finian, uh, Uh, visit the Juddshaw.

com website at behind the armor, and you can get all of his amazing links and, and bio and information to really deep dive. I highly recommend it. Finian, thank you so much for being on the show, my friend. Thank you so much. I want to extend my deepest gratitude to you. If you’ve enjoyed this episode, please follow us on your favorite platform or share this episode with a friend.

You can also follow me on Instagram at Judd Shaw Official. A special thank you to personal injury law firm, Judd Shaw Injury Law, for their support in helping us bring this podcast to life. Remember friends, authenticity isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being real. It’s about embracing our vulnerabilities, [00:56:00] celebrating our strengths, and being real.

Owning our stories. Until next time.